the wedding
by slickchick84
Summary: Kyla's getting married and this leads to Spencer and Ashley meeting again for the first time in seven years.  Added a very short epilogue, so this time it's really finished!
1. and so it begins

I own nothing, really I don't. If I did I wouldn't be writing this stupid story, I'd be somewhere sipping something expensive and exotic with a little umbrella in it.

So be kind, this is my first time:)

Chapter 1

The Wedding Preparations

Spencer Carlin really hated weddings. This of course was not a well known fact about the pretty twenty four year old woman. One would look at her and expect her to to be _exactly_ the kind to love everything about weddings, from picking a cake to dresses to the flowers. That was not true about Spencer, weddings made her sad. It made her think of promises made and broken, of a time when she dreamed about the day she would give herself to someone and know it was forever. She had been naïve back then, she had known that the moment she had looked into Ashley Davies' eyes waiting for an awnser that never came. That moment of hesitation before the shots rang out that killed her brother, that was the moment she lost her innocence.

She tried not to think of that time in her life, of the period she spent mourning her brother without the arms of the one person she had loved above all else around her. She had missed Ashley so much in the months that she had spent in Europe, even knowing that if she came back it would not have been the same between them anyway. Maybe if Ashley had stayed for once in her life instead of choosing the easy way out they could have worked things out, but Ashley was Ashley and she had run hard and fast.

Of course, when she finally came back with her awnser, one that Spencer wanted to hear so badly three months earlier, it was too late. Spencer knew that for certain when she came to school the next morning only to find out that Ashley had once again run to Aiden.

So they drifted apart, Ashley having Aiden for awhile and Spencer meeting Carmen. Spencer had always known in the back of her mind that if they ever parted ways, they would, no could not stay friends. Friendship with Ashley would have killed her everyday a little more, so when Ashley left for London with barely a goodbye halfway through Spencer's senior year, Spencer had felt both relief and a profound sense of loss. But she got over it, in her own way with help from people she would never of expected it from.

There was her friendship with Madison that surprised everyone, including Spencer herself. Now she could not really imagine her life without the feisty Latina in it, they even shared a small house on the beach. With Aiden. Yup, that had surprised a lot of people, but it worked well with the three of them. Regardless of their history, they were now the Three Amigos as Madison drunkenly named them one night. Their's was now as tight a bond as can exist between people who are not related by blood. They, almost more than anyone else, were changed drastically by the shooting and naturally gravitated towards each other.

Obviously there was Chelsey, who would always be her rock, a constant in her life that would never judge or waver. She and little Clay were a joy in her life that she thanked God for everyday.

Last there were the two people responsible for her duties as a bridesmaid, Glen and Kyla. They had started a rather rocky relationship after Spencer's eighteenth birthday party were they had gotten drunk and woken up in Miami together. No one was exactly sure how that had happened or how they had actually progressed to the point of marriage. Yet there stood Spencer in a rather flattering light blue bridesmaids' dress.

Spencer nervously glanced at Kyla as she stood staring at her critically. Kyla was going to have a perfect wedding, even if she had to beat everyone involved into submission. Kyla's own words, not Spencer's.

"Hmm...you look okay. Not as good as I'll be looking, but okay."

Spencer smirked to herself and shook her head. Kyla was something else.

"Thanks, Kyla. I'm just glad you let go of the _purple _dress idea, no one really looks good in it."

Kyla had had her heart set on a rather awfull looking purple material for the dresses, but Madison had threatened bodily harm and came out victorious. Madison, even after softening up a bit, could still be damn intimidating when she wanted to be.

"Oh, please, Ashley would have looked good in it, great even, Luckily she will look good in this blue too, if she even shows up that is. She said she'd be here by tomorrow afternoon, but you never know with that one."

That was another reason Spencer was really dreading the wedding, Ashley was going to be there too. Kyla had told Spencer only a week before, knowing full well she could not back out of being a bridesmaid at that point. So Spencer had no choice but to grin and bear it really. She was going to see Ashley Davies in all her glory in no more than twenty four hours, if she actually shows that is. Spencer was still clinging to the small hope that Ashley would flake out on her sisters wedding, but even she knew Ashley would probably not go that far. So now she had one ton elephants stomping around in her belly and a feeling of pure dread in her heart. She was worried about seeing her again, because if she were honest with herself, and Spencer usually was, she was not so immune against the memory of Ashley Davies as she once was. Truthfully, she still missed her every single day for the last seven years. Even when she was at the happiest point in her relationship with Carmen, a relationship that had lasted a good five years, she had missed the thrill that only Ashley had envoked in her.

Kyla at this point noticed the thoughtful look on Spencer's face and inwardly sighed. She knew Spencer was afraid of seeing Ashley again, it was written so clearly on her open face. Kyla had hoped in the months after the shooting that they could work it out, that her sister would shrug off her insecurities about love and just embrace Spencer and everything she offered. Of course, with Ashley nothing would ever be that easy and she had watched with sadness as her sister fell into Aiden and their dead end relationship. Not long after _that _train smash ended, Ashley left for London and Kyla knew she would not come back. Not to a place where Spencer seemed happy with Carmen.

Even knowing how much Ashley had loved Spencer back then, it had surprised her that Ashley's voice had trembled just slightly when she told her she would be a bridesmaid along with Spencer. She guessed now she should not have been surprised at all, a love like they had shared for a short while was special even after so many years of seperation. She shrugged these thoughts from her and reasoned that what happened had happened and in the end things would work out as they should, but a small part of her was eager to see exactly how Spencer and Ashley would handle being together for seven days. Seven days where they would be together basically all the time.

So there we go, let me know if its worth continuing.


	2. cos that's what friends are for

Okay, so I still don't own anything.

Thanks for all the reviews!!!! I really did not expect the reaction I got, but I'm glad that you liked it so far.

Okay, I thought I should mention that the story takes place in 2007, so the shooting happened back in 2000.

Well...umh...nothing left to say I guess!

Here goes!!

the wedding

Chapter 2

Spencer had an early dinner with Kyla before heading off home. She was tired and depressed by the time she pushed open her front door only to be bombarded by a slightly tipsy Madison and Aiden.

"Spence! Finally you're home! Come on in and join shooter night!"

Madison was basically screaming this in her face and Spencer realized she may have been a bit more than just tipsy. An arm was thrown around her and she was led to a couch and shoved down on it. Before she could open her mouth to speak a suspicious green substance in a shot glass was propped into her hand by Aiden.

"So, Spence, how you holdin' up?"

Instantly she knew where Aiden was going with his not so subtle question. A drunk Aiden was an obvious Aiden.

"God you guys. I'm okay, will you stop worrying about the whole Ashley thing, please? I'm so over that, you know? I mean its been seven years, what kind of a loser still, I don't know, pines for an ex girlfriend after that long?"

Immediately after finishing her sentence she threw the shot down her throat and winched as it burned all the way down into her belly. _Take that, one ton elephants! _

Of course she knew Madison and Aiden did not believe a word she just said. Seeing as Aiden simply poured more alcohol into a shot glass for her and Madison sat down next to her and patted her head like she was a little puppy or something.

"Keep telling yourself that, Spence. Maybe if you keep repeating it, it'll come true. Not that its worked so far, but you gotta have hope, right?"

Spencer just rolled her eyes and took her shot. She supposed getting drunk with her two best friends the day before the ex love of her life returns was okay. That's what friends were for.

An hour and a half later they were all three huddled on the couch, three _very _drunk, _very _sorry for themselves individuals. Madison and Aiden had decided half way through the bottle of tequila that they were still in love with Glen and Kyla. Spencer was really just staring morosely out of the window listening to them talk.

"I can't believe they're getting married. I mean, come on, Kyla can so do better than Glen! I'm way hotter than he is, I mean you guys tell me all the time how pretty I am!"

Spencer snickered to herself and took another sip of her drink. Aiden was such a girl sometimes.

"_Phuleeeease! _Kyla should thank her lucky stars to have caught Glen, the boy can do wonders with his tongue! It's not all about looks, Aid!"

Spencer just cringed at that one, it was way too much information about Glen.

"Madz, please don't talk about Glen that way, he _is _my brother. I so did not need to hear that. Besides, you both are pathetic, you dated them for all of five seconds and dumped them. You never loved each other, not like I love...I mean...loved, Ashley."

This lead to a rather long silence, broken finally by Aiden as he leaned his head back against the couch and sighed.

"You're right, we're being stupid. I'm being stupid. I never loved Kyla and today I guess I can honestly say I don't think I loved Ashley, at least not in _that_ way. I guess I'm trying to say sorry, Spence. I did a stupid thing back then and I realize now that I never really told you how sorry I was for how things ended up with you and Ash."

Spencer was not sure how things turned that serious, that quickly, seeing as the amount of alcohol currently in her bloodstream was clogging coherent thought at this point.

"Aid, don't worry about it._ She_ was the one that had to think about it, you know? She had to actually take a moment to think if it was me she loved. How sad is that? If the roles had been reversed, I would have told her I loved her, I would have done it knowing it was the most true and sure thing in this world. So I should be thanking you for showing me how _not _in love with me she was."

Madison snorted at that. She had watched their little drama unfold back then, she knew _that_ was a load of bull.

"Come on, Spence, she did love you, you know that. I get that, yeah, you would not have needed to think about it, but Ash wasn't you, you know? Her best friend had just told her he was in love with her and she took a moment to process that. So, I'm with Aiden on this one, its all his fault."

Aiden chocked on his drink and his eyes bulged out of his head. So, okay, he had felt guilty about the whole thing for a long time, but it was not _all _his fault.

Spencer and Madison both burst out laughing at his expression, only stopping when Spencer fell off the couch and started hiccuping. They just sat staring at each other for awhile, till Spencer cocked her head to the side and smiled.

"We are such loosers, you know that? We are young, reasonably attractive people sitting crying on a couch on a Friday night. And I just realised that we're going to have hangovers tomorrow when we go to lunch, with my _parents_. Oh God, that's so gonna suck."

They all three sat there contemplating lunch with Spencers' parents and the happy, almost wed couple and all three groaned in unison. Paula was going to have a field day with them. Spencer's only happy thought was that at least she would not see Ashley till that evening and by then her hangover would have probably subsided.

That was the last thought to float in her head as she walked to her room and kicked off her pants and put on a tank top to sleep in. Little did she know that Ashley would be popping by much sooner than that.

Ashley had caught an earlier flight out of England and landed about the same time Spencer drifted off into a dreamless sleep. She had been nervous during the flight, her leg bouncing incessantly and sleep evading her the whole way. She had had a lot of time to think about things on the flight to LA, hell, she had seven years to think about things. Things being Spencer of course. Ashley had made a success of herself, well, after almost killing herself the first year in London with nameless faces and a barrage of different drugs. She had done exactly in that first year what one would expect of her. She had buried her sadness in sex with people she would barely recognize in the morning and enough drugs to block out any thought of one Spencer Carlin. She had slowly numbed her brain, each day and each drug fading the sight of honey brown hair and blue eyes from her aching heart. She only realized the folly in all of that when she woke up in a hospital room after over dosing.

That afternoon when she finally opened her eyes, both literally and figuratively, she knew she had a choice to make. She could let herself drown in the misery that was her life or she could fight back. So she took it one step at a time and rebuilt herself. From that hospital bed a new Ashley Davies arose. A month after her hospital stay she was clean and sober. She took herself off to Spain for half a year and just wrote. She wrote about how angry she was, at herself, at Aiden and even at Spencer for not understanding that Ashley had just been scared. She had been a lost, scared little girl most of her life, but in the end she decided she could not blame Spence for not realizing that, seeing as she never let Spencer in enough to see it.

She had come a far way in that half a year, she had truly buried the old Ashley there. She had thought of coming back at that point, even had her ticket reserved, but common sense had stopped her. Spencer had Carmen, she would not be open to hear Ashley beg for forgiveness, for just one more chance to make things up to her. So Ashley went back to London and found herself a job. She had also realized during her stay in Spain that she could not just lounge around for the rest of her life. She needed purpose, something other than the memory of Spencers' smiling face to get herself out of bed in the morning. So started her career as a song writer. She had met up with an old friend of her Dad's and he had introduced her to some people who liked what she had wrote.

Now, as she tried to spot Kyla in the crowd, she felt at ease in her own skin. Of course, a lot of that had to do with the fact that she was going to win back Spencer Carlin. The moment Kyla had mentioned the words Spencer, Ashley and bridesmaid together her mind had been made up. She had known already that Spencer and Carmen had broken up, but so much time had passed by then that she believed it was too late. Yet, when those words left her sisters mouth and floated to her over the long distance line, she had felt herself tremble. Her body began to sing with anticipation, the mere thought of seeing _her _Spence again made it do so. So she knew then, that if after all that time just the mention of Spencer could still do that to her, it was worth trying to get it back.

These thoughts brought a rather sinful smile to her face and it was looking like this, like she was the pussy cat that had _finally_ caught that damn Tweety Bird, that Kyla found her.

"Ashley!" was all warning she got before Kyla rocketed into her for a tight hug. It had been a long three years since she saw Kyla, so she hugged back with abandon. She felt tears prick the back of her eyelids as she realized how much she missed her sister.

"Hey, Ky, I've missed you so much!"

Kyla smiled when Ashley mumbled it into her hair as she refused to remove her death grip from her older half sister.

"Not half as much as me, Ash. It's good you're here, you've been gone from home too long."

Ashley smiled as she finally pulled away from her sister to make a grab for her luggage, she was very ready to get out of the airport.

"I know, Ky. We can talk about all of that when you get me home, or to where ever I'm supposed to stay. I can do a hotel if you don't have the space for me."

Kyla just rolled her eyes at that and helped Ashley by picking up a bag, the smallest one she could spot of course.

"Don't be silly, you're staying with me and Glen. There is more than enough room for the three of us, my house is huge."

Ashley just smiled as they left the airport. They got home just before eleven that night and Ashley was genuinely surprised and pleased with Kyla's house, it really was huge. The greeting with Glen was kind of akward at first, but then Ashley thought what the hell, and hugged him. The look on his face was priceless. She was ushered into a plush guest room and gratefully crashed. Talking could wait was the only thing Kyla said as she closed the door on her suddenly exhausted sister. The traveling caught up with her and she was gone into dreamland not long after her shower.

Spencer awoke to a noise she could not place. There was a pounding noise, but she was not sure if that was just her headache or her actual front door. So it was in this state of acute pain that she staggered out of bed and vowed to _never, ever _drink that much again. By the time she ripped open the door with a grumpy "What!!" she realized she was only wearing her Power Puff! panties and a tank top. Worse than that realization was that on her doorstep stood not only her mother and Kyla, but _Ashley! _

Okay! Let me know what you think. Am I going in the right direction? Or should I go and drown myself in my own tears of failure?


	3. hug me now, grope me later

Once again, thanks for the reviews, it is much appreciated. One review mentions Spencer and Carmen's 5 year relationship and that that was too long. I get where you are coming from and will be explaining that and the whole friends with Aiden thing in a later chapter. Thanks for pointing out where I leave things too vague or things you don't get, I can only clear it up or try and improve on it if you review, so thanks again!

Also, I secretly kinda like Carmen, please don't burn me at the stake!!! ( 'Cos you know I love Ashley more and so does Spencer!)

Still don't own anything, dammit! I'm gonna die poor one day!

The wedding

Chapter 3

Spencer blinked twice, hoping against hope that she was having a _really bad dream_. This hope was dashed when Ashley stepped past a disapproving looking Paula and a stoic Kyla and wrapped her arms around Spencer. Instantly Spencer was surrounded by memories of her and Ashley, of their first kiss, their first night spent together and basically every sweet memory she had buried so deep in that dark part of her sad soul that belonged solely to Ashley. Her hands tentatively reached around Ashley and found their old resting place in the small of her back as she dipped her head down and against Ashley's soft, sweet smelling neck. She guessed it was muscle memory or something, how her body knew exactly where it fit best against Ashley's after all that time.

They both just stood there for a few moments, just standing there breathing easily for the first time since prom night. Spencer was internally berating herself. She knew she was in so much trouble, she _knew_ holding Ashley like this and feeling her heart pound was going to get her hurt again. But she could not let go, hell she did not _want_ to let go! Of course the world and Paula Carlin had other ideas as Paula spoke in that voice she specially reserved for Spencer and Ashley.

"Spencer,dear? Don't you think you should put some pants on?"

Spencer's head shot up and as she stepped away she swore she heard Ashley growl in frustration. Reality rushed at her and she blushed furiously as she looked down at the three Power Puff Girls displayed on the crotch of her laundry day panties. She could feel their fake, mocking eyes on her. _Damn judgmental panties!_

"You've changed, Spence. As I recall you always preferred Winnie The Pooh, but I can see why you like the Power Puff Girls, they got attitude!"

Spencer watched as her mother rolled her eyes while Ashley stood blatantly checking her scantily clad form out. She felt herself grow hot and realized it was not because of the staring, but because of the alcohol from last night threatening to make a most unwanted reappearance. Her eyes grew wide as her hand flew to her mouth. She turned and made a mad dash for the bathroom where she vomited almost gratefully. Maybe she could purge herself of all those memories Ashley had let loose on her poor, unprepared mind. She took her time brushing her teeth and finding her pajama bottoms before returning to her lounge to find her mother, Kyla and Ashley sitting patiently waiting for her.

"Spencer, are you hungover?"

Her mother was giving her a death glare which only made her head pound even harder. She chose to rather ignore her completely and turned her attention to Ashley.

"So you flew in early?"

Ashley gave her a small smile, a smile that made shivers run down her spine as she watched those soft lips curve up.

"I thought I'd surprise everyone and caught an earlier flight. I landed last night." Ashley's eyes once again did a lazy sweep over Spencer's features. "You look good, Spence. It's good to finally see you again."

Spencer felt like crying. Ashley meant those simple words, she could see it in her unguarded eyes as they held her blue ones. Ashley _had_ missed her, maybe even as much as Spencer had missed Ashley.

"I don't know about the looking good part, I think I look about as good as I feel, but I know I missed you too, Ash. So, why are you all here this early on a Saturday morning anyway?"

It suddenly occurred to Spencer that it was only nine o'clock. As far as she remembered they were all going to meet up at her parents house for lunch, they did not make plans for the morning. Kyla smiled softly at her, realizing she should have tried warning Spencer about their little visit and the surprise guest.

"Sorry, I should have told you yesterday. We short listed six different cakes for the wedding and your mom suggested we pick you up and go choose the winner. I guess we should have phoned first, huh?"

Spencer shrugged a shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, I'm one of your bridesmaids, its part of the job. So is it fine if I catch a shower first?'

Spencer left them in the kitchen were Paula insisted she make Spencer some breakfast while she showered. She knew her mother was doing this just because she knew Spencer would feel sick again eating anything with her hangover. Her mother still did not approve of Spencer drinking and made it clear in her own special little ways.

By the time Spencer stepped out of the shower she felt a little better and a lot more in control. She could not believe she had stood there hugging Ashley like there was no tomorrow. She was supposed to be stronger and smarter than that. It did not help that Ashley had looked hotter than ever before. She was still so beautiful, her face now more mature and her eyes glowing with something Spencer could not recall from before. Her body had felt the same, still warm and strong and safe and Spencer hated that fact. She had hoped that time would have tempered that feeling of belonging when she was in Ashley's arms.

When she finally returned to the kitchen, she spent a few moments just leaning against the door frame observing the three women in her kitchen. Her mother and Ashley were covertly glaring at each other while they listened to Kyla speak about the wedding. She shook her head with a small smile as she realized that her mother and Ashley would probably never get along, they were just too different.

Her mother spotted her at this point.

"You're looking better, dear. Is that a new dress you're wearing? Well sit down and have your breakfast, we need to get going soon."

She did not even give Spencer a chance to reply before handing her a plate with bacon and eggs on it. Spencer had not even known there was bacon in her house.

She had eaten the bare minimum of her breakfast before they decided to leave for the cake shop. They left in Kyla's suv, her mother next to Kyla in the front as Ashley had basically shoved Spencer into the back and jumped in right beside her.

Spencer sat staring out of her window, trying to ignore the fact that Ashley was sitting basically in her lap.

"So, Spence, you got a date for the wedding?"

When Spencer turned her head towards Ashley she was surprised to find only a few inches separating their faces. She swallowed hard before answering.

"Umm...no, I don't. Madison and I are both going stag, so we were just going to hang out the whole night."

Ashley smiled obviously happy with her answer.

"So their's no new girlfriend? Well thats good then, will make everything a lot easier."

Spencer frowned.

"Make what easier?"

Ashley gave her a look, a look that made her heart race a little faster with its intensity.

"Well, the whole seducing you and winning your heart back, of course! I would have felt marginally bad if I had to actually steal you away from some chick, you know? I am a changed woman and all, trying to be better at least. Not that that would have stopped me, you're worth loosing a few of my hard earned brownie points."

Ashley almost laughed at the look on Spencer's face, her words had provoked both shock and more importantly, desire. She had decided to just make her intentions clear from the get go, the sooner Spencer realized they were going to get back together, the better. There was no point in playing coy games, Ashley was passed stuff like that.

"You...me...seducing...huh...?"

Spencer was stuttering at this point, her mind swimming with so many thoughts. She had clearly heard what Ashley said, it was just the believing it part she had trouble with.

"Yes, Spence, you and me and a lot of seducing. Get used to the idea."

With that being said a hand was firmly planted on her thigh and nimble fingers drew aimless patterns onto the thin material covering her skin. Spencer lost all focus at that point, just got lost in the slow motion of Ashley's fingers on her thigh. Memories of those fingers and what they used to do to her crept into her mind and she blushed furiously as she remembered her mother was in the front seat. She tried scooting closer to the door and did not know if she was relieved or pissed when Ashley simply moved closer again. They needed to talk and soon, but it would have to wait, since she could see her mother watching them in the rear view mirror.

By the time they reached the cake shop, Spencer had decided she was angry. What right did Ashley have to touch her like she owned her and tell her they were hooking up for lack of a better word. So it was with a lot of force that she slammed her door shut behind her and basically stalked into Delectable Decadence for the cake tasting from hell. As long as she was angry, she could protect herself, her heart even, from Ashley.

Ashley kept giving her looks, the 'I'm going to rip off your clothes and feast off your body' looks and Spencer kept returning her own 'I'm going to chop you up into little pieces and post you to my mother for Christmas' looks. This went on until Kyla shoved an elbow into Spencer's ribs.

"Come to the bathroom with me."

It was not a question so much as a demand. Spencer simply nodded her head and followed after Kyla to where the sales assistant had pointed. Kyla got straight to the point.

"So, you haven't been around each other for more than two hours and she already pissed you off? What 's going on, Spence?"

Spencer sighed, half angry, half hopelessly.

"Oh, she just casually mentioned she's winning me over again. Like nothing happened back then, like all is forgiven and she is just stepping into her rightful place! God! She's still so... I don't know... cocky?...a huge pain in the ass? You pick one, I'm too angry to do it."

Sarcasm flowed warmly over her words as a flush of temper settled on her still sweet, child like cheeks. Kyla frowned at her words. She knew Ashley had come a far way in the last few years, but this sounded like the old Ashley, the one that did not always take Spencer's feelings into consideration.

"Look, you two should talk this over calmly, _before _my wedding day. I get how you are angry, but maybe you should just, I don't know, ask her what her intentions are and what she realistically expects from you. She may be just nervous at seeing you again, maybe feeling like it's safer to just dive right into things. I know this is hard for you to believe, but the Ashley I've known for the last few years is not the same selfish, sad, scared and insecure little girl you remember. And she does not realize yet that you're not that push over Spence anymore, the one that always forgave her anything. Well, except for the time you dumped her and she finally ran away to England."

Spencer raised her eyebrows at this. Glen had told her that Kyla had started reading all these self help books and stuff, but she had not taken him seriously. Now she guessed she owed him an apology and she maybe should go out and buy herself one. Kyla made a lot of sense.

"Just give her a chance to speak to you, explain things to you and give her a chance to meet the new Spencer. Maybe you'll even get to meet the new Ashley, I think you'd like her."

Spencer gave her a small smile and pulled her into a short hug.

"I'm glad I get to call you sister in a week, because I love you as much as if you were. Glen's lucky to get you and so is the rest of the Carlins."

Kyla felt a rush of warmth and gratitude flow through her, moved by the love and caring she heard in Spencer's voice.

"Thank you, Spence. I really appreciate hearing that. Now, as your almost sister, promise me you'll at least try to be friends with Ash again?"

Spencer gave a small nod.

"First time I get her alone, we'll have a talk. Now come on, you realize we've left my _mother_ and _Ashley _alone for almost ten minutes? I wonder if they've killed each other yet!"

Kyla laughed out loud and reached for the door, but before she could open it, it was swung open by a harassed looking Ashley.

"God, were you two ever planning on coming out of there and rescuing me from Paula? I had to make polite small talk, it was seriously scary!"

Both Kyla and Spencer just gave her a look and propelled her out of the doorway and back to the cake tasting. Before reaching Paula's presence, Spencer leaned over and whispered into Ashley's ear.

"We need to talk later, maybe after lunch at my parents house, okay?"

Ashley just gave a small nod, not sure if this was going to be a good talk, or the kind that leaves her heart bleeding on the floor.

So there we go! Please let me what you think, constructive criticism is always welcome.


	4. the talk and how to avoid it

For all of you who have kept up reviewing, thank you, I love you like I love chocolate-caramel ice cream. (And if you knew me, you'd know that's a whole lot!!!!)

Once again, it's not mine, I want to own it, really I do, but I don't. Some Lynch guy has it and the selfish bastard won't share, I asked!

So here we go again...

The wedding

Chapter 4

Spencer was nervous. She knew she had to speak to Ashley, but what was she supposed to say? What did she want to hear? Did she really want to tell Ashley to go jump in a lake and drown herself, that she had no interest in rekindling their relationship. Honestly, a part of her had been elated when Ashley told her she still wanted her, but a bigger part of her was so scared. Scared of tears and heartache and of being so in love with Ashley again that she could not think straight. Even worse than that was the realization that she probably still was that much in love with her, her reaction to Ashley's simple touch had kind of given that away.

As she glanced at a surprisingly quiet Ashley next to her at the lunch table, she was struck again with how beautiful she was. Those dark, dark eyes had always been her weakness and know she finally recognized that look she had earlier wondered about. Ashley looked at peace, like that constant inner struggle had finally laid itself to rest in the years that Spencer had missed out on. She wandered what, or an even more scary thought, who had put that look of contentment there.

Lost in her deep contemplation of Ashley, she did not hear the conversation going on around the table until she saw Ashley's head snap up towards Paula.

"Sorry, what did you say?'

Spencer glanced at her mother, now very interested in the conversation. She was silently praying that her mother would not start anything.

"I asked if you were looking forward to the wedding, seeing as someone like you probably don't care much about weddings."

Ashley frowned and Spencer expected her to blow her fuse, she could tell everyone at the table had the same idea. So it was with some surprise that they registered Ashley's small chuckle that followed.

"Someone like me? Do you mean a gay person, or, and I think this is the winner, a slutty person?"

Paula's eyes almost popped out of her head at the sardonic answer. Well, so did everyone else's really.

"Well, I...uhm...I actually meant someone as free spirited as you. I didn't think you really believed in monogamy with your history." There was a beat before she spoke again. "And I thought your were, what's the word, bi?"

Paula gave a nervous look over at Aiden who was quietly sipping his juice and then Spencer who looked like she was burning her alive with the strength of her gaze. Paula almost audibly gulped.

Ashley smirked when she realized Paula was actually uncomfortable now, Ashley's even question and Spencer's death stare had thrown her. _Yay for us!_

"Well, I guess a few years ago that could have been true, but to be honest, I like the idea of marriage. It's one of the most beautiful things in this world when two people are brave enough to promise themselves to each other and no one else. I like to think someday someone will feel that way about me, trust me enough to love them unconditionally for the rest of our lives." She gave a rather pointed stare at Spencer and smirked when she turned back to Paula. "And as for being bi? I realized a long time ago that I'm not interested in men, not in anyway other than friendship."

This time her eyes flickered over to Aiden who only gave her a neutral look in return. Ashley guessed this meant she had to have a talk with not only Spencer, but Aiden too. After all, she had treated him like shit. He had not deserved that back then, not really. Well, okay, maybe to some extent, but she still would make the effort at some point, she was mature now after all.

Arthur broke the silence with a soft smile on his face.

"That's a beautiful thought, Ashley. I hope that happens for you and might I say it is really good to see you looking so...well...good. It's a huge improvement from the last time I saw you."

Ashley gave a self deprecating smile.

"Oh, you mean when I showed up half drunk at four in the morning to say goodbye to Spencer before leaving? Yeah, that wasn't my best moment. Sorry about that, and just for your future peace of mind, it won't happen again. I'm off the happy juice."

Everyone around the table looked surprised at that except for Kyla. She of course knew Ashley was clean and sober for a good few years now.

"Oh, well, that's nice for you. Could you please pass the potatoes, Glen dear?"

Paula had regained her cool at this point and decided to cut the conversation short. She had not expected Ashley to come out smelling like roses when she had asked her original question. It peeved her tremendously.

So lunch continued rather subduedly from there on. Madison and Ashley surprisingly kept the conversation flowing between everyone and Spencer was grateful. When Ashley, Kyla and Glen had shown up for lunch, things had been rather _reserved _was a nice way of putting it, between Ashley and Aiden, but she and Madison fell into a comfortable banter. Sure, half of what they said was kind of offensive, but they were doing it in a friendly manner, if that made any sense.

Spencer became once again apprehensive when lunch was finally over. Ashley's little speech about marriage and love had done nothing to subdue the stampeding elephants and the giant parade they were having in her belly. She really hated elephants now, they officially sucked!

So that was the reason she volunteered herself and Madison, who immediately gave her a death glare, for kitchen duty. She was washing dishes and Madison was drying them rather grudgingly.

"So, how did you wanting to avoid the little _talk _you mentioned earlier with Ashley, get me involved with the drying of dishes. That's just mean, I'm feeling a little fragile this morning, you know?"

Her voice sounded angry, but Spencer knew better.

"Sorry about that, I know how you feel about manual labor. _Especially _when you are hungover, but then so am I if that makes you feel better."

Madison gave her a small smile and then a look that said it was time to spill.

"Look, I'm going to have the talk, I just need a little time to figure out what I want to say. I don't want to screw this up, you know? I don't want her to get the wrong idea, that I don't want her in my life or something, but I don't want her to jump to conclusions. I think I want her to be my friend again, but thats it. That's all I can dare to give her."

Madison threw the dishtowel down and sat on the counter top next to Spencer.

"Can I be honest with you, like you might be pissed at me afterwards honest?"

Spencer gave her an indulging smile and a head nod.

"Okay, here goes. You and Ashley will never be just friends, and that's a good thing. I know you don't want to hear this, 'cos you're still confused and stuff, but you are gonna get together, whether you believe that now or not. Because let me tell you sweetie, you still love that girl to death. I wish you could see the two of you from someone else's eyes. Did you know that you always gravitate towards each other, that it seems like there is this _thing _that pulls you together. Even know, after _seven years, _it's the same. I watched you watch each other during lunch, like you couldn't really help yourselves, you know? In all the time you spent with Carmen, you never looked at her like that, because you two really were _just_ friends. Can I ask you why you were with her for so long and for your own sake, think about it and be honest?"

Spencer was quiet for a good long while. She sighed before giving Madison a softly surprised look. Madison was not as shallow as she pretended to be. Still Spencer did not know if she wanted to admit out loud to her what she and Carmen both realized two years ago. It had been a painful realization for them both and Spencer still felt guilt over the whole thing. After all, she had basically used the girl for five years and all because she had been scared. So with another sigh she reluctantly answered.

"Because it was safe. Because she was sweet and beautiful and nowhere near deep enough in my heart to brake it. Because I could have fun with her, there was never any drama or fights and because in some small way she reminded me of Ashley. She was a version of Ashley I could handle, that I could safely have. Of course, I only realized this when she said she was moving to New York and that I shouldn't bother coming with. She new on some level, I guess, because she said there was no hard feelings, that she loved me and that she knew I loved her too. As a friend. She smiled when she said that and I knew she did not regret staying with me for so long, even if I was just using her in a way. In the end I figured she must have been using me too, because her heart wasn't exactly breaking either, you know?"

She was quiet again for a moment, just collecting her thoughts.

"I think we held on for so long because we were such good friends, we got along so well. It would have been perfect if only there had been real passion between us."

Madison nodded her head in agreement. She could understand wanting to feel safe with someone, it was so much easier than putting yourself on the line.

"Well, there you go. I'm not saying don't play it safe, not at all, I don't want you to jump into anything you're not ready for, but give yourself the chance to be happy. And if Ashley is the one that's going to make you happy, it might just be worth the risk. So stop stalling and talk to her."

Spencer gave her a big smile all of a sudden.

"Since when did you become so pro Ashley?"

Madison jumped off the counter and swatted her on the butt playfully.

"I'm so not pro Ashley, I just have a certain degree of respect for anyone that can almost leave your mother at a loss for words, that woman is such a bitch. I still don't think it was possible for a person like_ that _to give birth to a person like _you." _

Spencer laughed in agreement, time did not mellow her mother out, not one bit.

"Yeah, well, you can't pick your parents."

It was with a small smile on her face that she finally walked back to the lounge where everyone was sitting discussing the upcoming wedding. Glen was animatedly describing the spot he chose for the honeymoon to their dad. Paula was in deep conversation with Kyla regarding china patterns. As for Ashley and Aiden, they were sitting in polite quietness on the couch. Ashley looked kind of bored and kept giving Aiden small, unsure glances, like she expected him to suddenly turn on her and bite her head off or something. Ashley finally spotted Spencer watching them all and gave a relieved smile.

"Ashley, you wanna go for a ride with me?"

Ashley's relieved smile turned to a slightly worried frown.

"Sure, Spence, that sounds nice."

Spencer turned to pick up her keys and suddenly turned back to Kyla.

"I'll drop her off at your place once I get bored with her, so don't hang around and wait if we don't get back soon."

Kyla just smiled and waved them off feeling that things might be heading in the right direction with them for once.

They drove in silence that was only broken by Ashley digging into Spencer's cd collection. After a few minutes Blondie blared rather loudly from her car speakers. Spencer was almost as surprised as Ashley when she pulled up at the beach.

It was the same beach that she once confessed to Ashley that she liked girls. Once again they kept the silence until they were seated on the pleasantly warm sand. It was Ashley that broke the silence again. She was the one that wanted to make things right after all, she guessed it was only fair she started the conversation. That and she did not want to give Spencer the chance to reject her before she properly apologized to her.

"I have a lot of things to say sorry about, Spence, we both know that. I want to start with the Clay thing, I know I said sorry back then, but I need you to hear it again. You were there for me when my dad died, even when I did everything I could to piss you off and push you away. You deserved better than me running away and leaving you to handle all that alone. Of all the things I did, I regret that the most, it was a selfish thing to do. I understand now why you were so angry with me, I abandoned you, I disappointed you, I didn't listen to you when you needed someone to listen. It was a shitty thing to do. I was just so scared, you know, scared of how much you needed me, of how much I needed you. That's why I skipped out on you, why I skipped out on _myself."_

Spencer sat watching the ocean. She heard real regret in Ashley's voice and it tugged not so gently on her heart. She could feel the pain in those honest words and without even consciously thinking about it , she reached out and took Ashley's hand in hers.

"It hurt when you left after Clay. A lot, but I guess I can understand it, it reminded you of your dad, didn't it?"

Ashley was thankful when she heard no accusations in sweet Spencer's voice and for the warm hand that held hers so firmly, so familiarly.

"Yeah, but that still does not excuse my behavior, I still chose to run. It does not change the fact that I came back too late and then screwed things up even more with the whole Aiden thing."

Spencer was surprised at Ashley's honesty, she was taking full blame for the whole thing on herself.

"Why did you sleep with Aiden?"

It was blunt, Spencer knew that, but it was a time for straight forward honesty and she needed to know.

Ashley for her part sighed and hung her head in shame. She could clearly remember Spencer's face that morning when she spotted Aiden and herself showing up at school together. She had hurt her so much with that and Spencer had still managed to be civil with her later that night. Even tried to keep up with Ashley with the nightly phone calls, but Ashley was too far gone by that time. Too far lost in her own sadness.

"God, I was such an idiot. I just wanted things to be less, I don't know, scary? He made me feel better, he made me think he loved me and I let myself fall into him because I was just to afraid to accept the truth. The truth that I had lost the best thing to ever happen to me. The only excuse I can give you Spencer is that I loved you, I loved you in a way I was not ready to handle. Most people only meet the love of their lives when they're so much older, so much more ready than I was at eighteen. I was a young mess of a girl with a love that was already mature, that was already set in stone. To make it worse, you seemed so capable of handling it, like it didn't scare you at all. It made me feel guilty, less worthy of you somehow. So I gave up and left. I'm not proud of that, but in the end it was probably for the best. It gave me the time I needed to sort myself out, to become worthy of you. I'm not like that anymore Spencer, I've learned to let my demons go, I'm ready for us now. I'm ready to let you in all the way."

Spencer could feel tears burn the back of her eye lids as she shut her eyes tightly. It was so hard to listen to Ashley say all these things. It was so hard to sit there and have this decision to make. Could she let Ashley in again, just like that? Was it wise to let the pounding of her heart at hearing those heartfelt words dictate her actions. She needed to slow things down before she drowned in it all.

"Ashley, I don't think you know what those words mean to me, hearing you say that makes me feel so... I don't even know how to describe it. I think I'm deliriously happy and scared beyond belief at the same time. I still care so much about you, I can't lie and say that I don't, but I don't know if _I'm _ready for us now. I need you to give me time, give us time to get to know each other again. I think I can at least say that I want you in my life again, I don't want you to just disappear again. Can we just be friends for a little while, can you just give me some room to let this all settle inside of me?"

Ashley was the one sitting quietly watching the ocean now. She wanted so badly to just grab Spencer and kiss her senseless, to just make her feel everything good that lay between them again. Only a few hours ago she had been following that route, brazenly telling Spencer she was going to win her over and then basically trying to feel her up in the back of Kyla's SUV. That was the easy way of doing this, but she realized it might not be the smartest thing in the long run. This was not the time to let the old, stupidly impulsive Ashley come out to play. That Ashley had never thought things through, take her impulsive idea to jump into bed with Aiden for example. Everyone knew how well that had worked out for her. So she bravely pushed her hormones aside and turned to Spencer. She took Spencer's face between her hands and kissed her softly on the lips. It lasted but a second, yet still managed to convey so much. It showed her trust, her dedication and the conviction she had in their love. Spencer felt the tears finally fall from her helpless eyes.

"I'll take your friendship, Spencer. Even if that is the only thing you can ever give me, I will gladly take it, but know that I will always hope for more. You're my heart Spencer and I can't let you go again, so if and when you are ready, I'll be there. I'll always be there, I promise you that."

Spencer gratefully excepted the hug Ashley offered when she finished. Spencer could not speak, could not think, could not do anything but hold Ashley close to her heart for just a few more moments.

"It's so good to have my best friend back."

Okie dokie. How you like that so far? I'm not so sure how you'll like this chapter, it's less with the funny and more with the angst. Sorry! It had to be done at some point. If you hated it, thats cool, I'm a big girl, I can take it. By that I mean I will pig out and have too much ice cream and get a tummy ache. If you liked it, I will celebrate by eating too much ice cream and still get a tummy ache, so don't be scared to give an honest review!!!


	5. a day with little clay, oh and dolphins

So I finally had a chance to sit down and write, took me long enough! I had a crap week at work is my only excuse.

Wanted to say **THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS!!!!! **

You are all so sweet and only made me eat like half a tub of ice cream:)

It's not my show, I don't own it so step away from the lawyer Mr Lynch!!! For the love of God, don't sue me!

**P.S** I live in South Africa, so I was not sure when your summer holiday actually ends, so for the sake of ease, this story takes place in the middle of your summer! Whenever that actually is!!

**P.S.S **I finally downloaded the latest episode of SON on Wednesday and all I can say is that my moment of insanity has passed. Carmen sucks! That chick is like bi-polar or something!!

Anyway, on with the story

The wedding

Chapter 5

Monday morning found Spencer on her way to Chelsey's studio to pick up little Clay for the day. She had spent a quiet day at home the Sunday, as Ashley had spent the day with Kyla bonding. She had phoned Spencer a few times during the day, complaining about how Kyla's idea of bonding was going to the gym for two hours and making her sweat out half her body weight. That was followed by eating almost all the cake they could get their hands on and then having dinner with Glen. Ashley had been so disappointed when Spencer said she would be spending her Monday with Clay that Spencer had invited her to spend it with them. One day a week she made the effort to spend time with her nephew, be it after her day of teaching or over a weekend. Spencer was a certified English Lit teacher and found it kind of funny that she would end up teaching at King High of all schools. In the end she shrugged it off as life being life.

Her thoughts of her current working position was pushed aside when she spotted Clay and Chelsea standing in front of the studio patiently waiting for her to arrive. Spencer loved Clay to death and the feeling was mutual. The usually shy boy loved Spencer and she was one of the few people he would speak and play animatedly with. Even Arthur and Paula was not privileged to this behavior.

So it was with a big smile on his face that he ran into her arms when she got out of her car.

"Hey little man, are you ready for a day at the beach?"

Spencer was beaming a smile of her own at him as she waited for his answer.

"Yup, I got my swimming trunks and sunblock and everything. It's going to be fun, maybe the dolphins will swim with us this time."

Ever since Clay had seen a special on tv about dolphins, he had had a small obsession with the animals. Or more accurately, swimming with them. Spencer caught Chelsey's eyes and shared a smile. It amused both adults immensely that he had there and then declared he was going to be a marine biologist one day. Spencer was not sure he even knew what that meant, but with Clay you never knew. He was as smart as his father had been, already further ahead than any seven year old should be.

"Well I can't promise that they will, but I know we won't be swimming alone today. I hope you don't mind, but there's a friend of mine that wants to meet you, so she's spending the day with us. She's really nice and I know you'll like her."

The little boy frowned for a second, unsure about how he felt sharing Spencer with anyone. In the end he gave a small nod in agreement.

"If you think I'd like her than that's okay I guess. Does she like dolphins? It would be okay if she did, we could look for them together I suppose."

He gave another serious frown as he pondered this. If she was nice like Spencer said and if she liked dolphins he would forgive Spencer for inviting her. New people made him very nervous and his Aunt Spencer knew this, so he guessed it would be okay. Only he hoped she was not as scary as Spencer's friend Madison, she was terrifying and he usually avoided her at all costs.

"So who is this friend my kids going to be hanging out with if you don't mind me asking."

Spencer turned towards Chelsey.

"Oh, it's just Ash."

Chelsey gave her a knowing leer.

"Oh, just Ash. Well, that should be fun."

She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Spencer rolled her eyes. She had told Chelsey about the conversation she had had with Ashley over the phone the previous day and had not been surprised when Chelsey approved of their renewed friendship. Spencer kind of got the idea she was disappointed when she realized it was currently just friendship and nothing more. Chelsey had always been on team Ashley in her opinion.

She was pulled from her staring match with a smirking Chelsey by Clay's hand tugging her towards the car. She smiled once more at Chelsey.

"I'll have him back before dinner."

The ride back to her beach house was filled with Clay's usual banter and questions about everything and everyone. He was constantly searching for answers, searching for understanding of things that most _seventeen _year olds would not have cared about. It was one of the many things she loved about the old soul that was her nephew.

By the time she pulled up in the driveway she could spot Ashley already waiting for them on her front steps. She was dressed casually in shorts and a blue tank top that looked to be a size or two too small. She had a big smile on her face and a beach bag in her hand. Spencer thought she looked like a big kid waiting for her parents to take her to the beach for the first time.

She got out of the car quickly and returned the smile Ashley threw her way. She heard Clay close his door and turned to introduce them to each other. She realized than that she was actually nervous. For reasons she was unwilling to admit to herself yet, it was important for this meeting to go well.

"Clay, I'd like you to meet Ashley, she went to school with me and your mom and dad."

This information sparked something in the boys eyes. He had heard so much about his father from everyone in his family, but it never seemed enough. He was always excited to meet anyone who knew his father. So with a shy smile he stepped forward and reached out his hand.

"It's nice to meet you, Ashley."

Ashley gave him one of her most alluring smiles and Spencer almost laughed out loud at the glazed look that crept into his eyes. Ashley was already charming him as she knelt down and shook his hand.

"It's really nice to meet you too. You look a lot like your dad and he was a pretty decent guy, so I guess that makes you one too, huh?"

Clay pulled himself up to his full size, which was not much seeing as he was only seven, and gave her a solemn smile

"Yup, Aunt Spencer says I'm exactly as good as my daddy was, so I guess that's true." he was quiet for a second as he stared at Ashley, "You have really pretty hair."

Ashley threw her head back and laughed, making her soft, curled tendrils brush over her bare shoulder blades. The kid was something else alright. She already liked him more than anyone else in Spencer's family.

"Thank you, that was sweet of you to say."

She got up at this point and let her eyes roam over Spencer as she smilingly watched them. She felt her heart speed up at the sight of such a simple smile. She was so in love with that smile and she wondered how she had lasted all those years without it.

"So I was promised a day at the beach, not a day standing on your steps. Are we hitting the beach or what?"

She was actually just eager to see Spencer in a bikini, but was not about to say that out loud. She could take it as slowly as Spencer wanted, but she was not going to miss out on a perfectly good ogling opportunity.

They had settled themselves not far from Spencer's deck that led out onto the beach. They had an umbrella up and was currently sipping cold drinks from a cooler Spencer had hauled out with them. Clay was patiently waiting for them to finish so they could swim. He wanted to get into the water as soon as possible, you never knew when the dolphins could show up after all. He was trying not to stare at Ashley, but found it kind of hard. She seemed as nice as Spencer had said she would be and she was very pretty. He was hoping they could talk about his dad later, but that could wait. There was one question more pressing at the moment.

"Do you like dolphins?"

Ashley thought for a moment and Spencer could only chuckle when she saw the seriousness she was contemplating her answer with.

"Yeah, I like them well enough. They're supposed to be really smart, right? And they save people from sharks. I saw that on the discovery channel once."

Clay seemed really happy with her answer. So much so that he immediately launched into an excited speech about every fact he knew about dolphins. It was an impressive speech to say the least. It also took so long that Ashley thought the little guy might run out of breath and pass out. He was obviously passionate about his see mammals.

In the end Ashley had suggest they go swimming and see if they could spot any, sadly knowing they probably would not. Spencer was inordinately happy with how well they were getting along as all three of them swam together. Clay had flung his arms around Ashley's neck and clung for dear life as they ventured deeper into the water. They spoke animatedly the whole time as they dogged waves and surfers alike. Spencer found her heart beating warmly at the sight of Ashley with a child in her arms. She seemed so natural and at ease with the young boy. The three of them played and splashed around for a long time, taking turns holding Clay as it was too deep for him to stand. Finally they decided to head back to the dry towels and shade of the umbrella.

As Clay played in the sand building a rather impressive castle, Spencer stole a glance at Ashley as she lay spread out on the towel. Water was quickly evaporating off her warm body and Spencer watched with quickening pulse as a drop of water ran down her tanned skin. She wondered how Ashley kept her tan while living in London. This thought was quickly replaced by one a lot dirtier when Ashley took a deep breath, her chest moving slowly, almost sensuously up and down, drawing Spencer's stare there. Everyone had always assumed that Ashley had been the more sexually needy one in their relationship, seeing as she was as Glen had put it once to Spencer, a huge, horny slut. What they did not know and would never suspect was that Spencer had been physically insatiable when it came to Ashley. Ashley would simply look at her and she was turned on, whether it had been Ashley's intent to do so or not. Ashley had once actually begged Spencer to stop so they could sleep, she had been that tired, that physically worn out. Spencer had initiated their lovemaking twice as many times as Ashley, and that had been a lot, it was Ashley after all. So it was lost in a myriad of thoughts of Ashley and moments spent intangled in those warm, tanned limbs that Ashley chose to speak. Not surprisingly, it took Spencer awhile before she responded.

"Hmm?"

Ashley was gazing at Clay as she repeated herself.

"I said Clay is a great kid, I hope I score one like that one day."

Spencer finally pulled her eyes away from the damn tempting distraction that was Ashley's breasts.

"You mean you want kids one day?"

They had never spoken about it back in high school, Spencer had actually assumed Ashley would never want kids after loosing her baby.

Ashley was still looking at Clay, a small smile on her lips.

"Yes, I do. You don't think I'd be a good mom?"

She had turned to Spencer now, the small smile still in place. She did however not wait for an answer as she detected the panicked look on Spencer's face. She guessed correctly that Spencer assumed she had put her foot in her mouth with that one.

"'Cos I think I'll be great. I just have to do everything exactly the opposite from what Christine and my dad did. I mean, I should know all about what parents_ shouldn't_ do to their kids, you know?"

Spencer just gave a small, sad smile in return. Ashley was right, her parents had done nothing to make her childhood a happy one.

"Well, if what I've seen today is anything to go by, you'll do alright."

Ashley for her part had another thought floating around in her head. She had a dreamy smile on her face as she spoke.

"Yeah, it felt good so far. I think this is what it should feel like, will feel like to have a family."

Spencer suddenly understood there was a hidden meaning. In Ashley's eyes they had been a family today, the three of them. This was what it would be like if _they_ had a child together. The thought buried itself deep inside Spencer and for a moment she could imagine it. Her and Ashley and a child. A family.

"Not that I'm planning that anytime soon. It's in my ten year plan, you know?"

Spencer locked eyes with Ashley and could see the silent question, the silent plea in her eyes. She wanted Spencer to think about it, to take it into consideration when she finally decided if she wanted Ashley or not. It was another promise, however silently made, of her dedication.

"Yeah, I know. I've got myself one of those as well."

Ashley just smiled and lay back on her towel. She was not about to push her luck for more, not now at least. Good things came to those who wait, after all.

They had spent the rest of the afternoon having lunch and swimming some more. By the time they entered the house again Clay was dead on his feet and in need of a nap. Spencer lay him down in her room and told him she would wake him in a little while and they could watch some cartoons together.

By the time she got to the kitchen and Ashley he was fast asleep.

"Is the little guy out?'

Spencer gave a smile.

"He was snoring by the time I closed the door. I think we tired him out."

She got two glasses out and poured some juice for them.

"So I've been meaning to ask, are you okay with Glen and Kyla getting married? I mean I know you don't really like him."

Ashley rolled her eyes and gave a short laugh at the same time.

"I wouldn't of picked him if I had the choice, but they seem happy. He makes her laugh and she makes him less of an ass. So, yeah, I'll learn to live with it. Hmm...talking about the wedding made me realize I still have to buy them a present. Wanna go present hunting with me tomorrow?"

Spencer had no bridesmaids duties planned for the next day, so she agreed. Besides, if she was honest, she wanted to spend time with Ashley. She was remembering more and more how good it felt when she was with her, how everything seemed more right. She had missed having those warm brown eyes on her, that small yet strong hand in her own.

"Of course I'll go with you, if only for the sake of saving Kyla from getting an Ashley speciality gift. God knows what you could come up with on your own!"

Ashley smiled widely at her.

"Are you trying to say she did not appreciate me sending her and Glen the 'Dummies guide to Monkey Sex' for their engagement gift? I thought it would be helpful, I mean if she was gonna marry him, she might as well learn how to please your ape of a brother."

Spencer just laughed and shook her head at Ashley who was smiling innocently at her.

"You mind if I go check on the little guy?"

Spencer just shook her head and pointed down the hallway towards her room. She washed all the dishes that had piled up and threw out some old Chinese food she found in the fridge. She wandered down the hallway that Ashley had gone down not ten minutes earlier and smiled when she stepped into the room. Ashley had fallen asleep right next to Clay and he had snuggled up against her. His head was firmly planted in the crook of her arm and they were both snoring softly. It was an adorable scene .

Before realizing what she was doing, Spencer found herself sitting on the bed next to Ashley. She ran a hand over a soft cheek and sighed.

"Beautiful..."

In that moment she forgot Prom night, she forgot the morning she saw Ashley and Aiden knowing full well what they had done the night before. All she could see was the girl she once loved, the woman she knew she still loved. With this thought lingering in her mind and heart, she leaned over and kissed the soft lips. She let the kiss linger, simply enjoying the feel of them against her own, marveling at how right it felt. With a sigh she pulled back and quickly lay down beside Ashley. She wrapped herself around her, suddenly desperate for the contact as she tightly closed her eyes and pressed her face into Ashley's hair. Because of this she missed Ashley opening her eyes and smiling a teary, yet wicked smile. Both lay there, simply satisfied feeling the other so near, till sleep took them.

Well, there we go. Please let me know how you liked it, or didn't like it. Though, if you are going to knock it, give suggestions on how I can improve it. It will be greatly appreciated. Also in the next chapter or two, I'm going to heat things up between them, just a little bit. Do you like that idea, or am I rushing it?


	6. dream a little dream of me

Okay, I'm back again. Still struggling to download the last episode, I hate my slow internet!!!!

Anyway, thanks for the reviews, especially to those of you who have stuck around and reviewed after every chapter. You are great:) You are the reason I'm posting another chapter!

Okay, so the Lynch dude has yet to sue me, 'cos I told him I'd stop lying to everyone and telling them Son is mine, all mine! (this was followed by a minute of my best imitation of Dr Evil's laugh!)

So her we go, again, aren't you getting tired of hearing that yet?

The Wedding

Chapter 6

**Spencer's point of view**.

Spencer became aware of a soft, almost vanilla-ish scent. She recognized it immediately, she always could and always would. It was Ashley. It was her hair and her skin and whatever shampoo she used. Spencer _loved _that smell, even if she almost always felt surprised that Ashley smelt of something so ordinary and plain as vanilla. Once she had thought Ashley should smell of something more exotic, more daring, but she came to love that scent and the feeling of security it instilled in her.

Then she became aware of the warmth. Ashley's body always gave off a heat wave, enveloping you the minute you entered her personal space. A soft, warm blanket that she wrapped around you and caused Spencer to always lose her concentration. Close proximity to Ashley's warm body always made Spencer a bit fuzzy in the head. That may have explained the next few moments of her life.

Spencer could feel taut stomach muscles underneath her finger tips, a slender strong shoulder against her cheek. She let out a happy sigh as she felt the old familiar desires awaking in her blood. It was going to be a good dream she decided, it felt so real after all.

A moment later she turned her face upward and nuzzled into soft curly hair. She breathed in deeply before letting her mouth drop to the sweet and salty skin of a neck. The taste and feel was so realistic she moaned, a soft guttural sound passing through her parted lips. At the same time she let her hand wonder over the planes of a stomach, under a shirt and upwards to where she knew she would find a firm, yet pliant breast. She was not disappointed when her hand covered said breast, as it immediately reacted to her touch. It always had. She felt a slow heat settle low in her belly and her heart beat speed up. She wanted more. So she left soft, sucking, open mouthed kisses on the skin of Ashley's neck, the way she had always liked it. Dream Ashley pulled in a deep breath and arched into Spencer's hand, causing Spencer to groan again.

It was at this point she scooted closer to take an earlobe into her mouth where she bit it lightly and then sucked on it. Dream Ashley sharply inhaled. Unfortunately that was not the only sound Spencer heard at that moment.

**Ashley's point of view.**

Ashley was having a good dream. Not the kind where you had to change your underwear afterwards good, but the kind that left you feeling all mushy and happy afterwards. The kind you did not admit to having because it was kind of childish and therefore embarrassing.

She was a dolphin swimming in clear blue waters. Spencer was a dolphin too of course, swimming right beside her in the warm tropical water. They were following Clay as he cut clear through the water's surface to gracefully dive back down again. He was having a lot of fun and this made her happy. Spencer too was happy, she could tell, because in her dream they could read each others minds.

Many a time during her waking hours she had wished they could do that, then Spencer would never have to ask her who she would choose ever again. Because Spencer would be able to hear her thoughts and how she was always the one in them. Never anyone else, not in that way at least.

In her dream they were now over a beautiful coral reef, colours exploding around them. The reef was filled with life, other smaller fish swam around, ducking in and out of the reef as brightly coloured plants swayed in the gentle undertow. Clay was chasing a blow fish around when Ashley's dream was interrupted.

She first became aware of a tickling sensation over her stomach, like someone was caressing her skin there. It took her sleepy mind a moment to realize someone _was _actually touching her. It was pleasant to say the least. That of course did not come near the sensation of lips on her neck, a tongue softly flicking against the skin. What thrilled her most was the realization of _whose_ fingers and tongue was touching and tasting her. It was Spencer. No one ever touched her in exactly the way Spencer touched her, her body would never be able to respond to anyone else like that.

All of these thoughts were pushed aside when a soft, warm hand closed over her breast. Her desire doubled when her neck was assaulted again in that way only Spencer managed, nipping, licking, sucking and kissing all at the same time. She was in heaven. She sighed as she pushed herself against the warm hand and then sucked in her breath. She was acutely aware of two things at that moment, Spencer nibbling her earlobe and a sound that did not fit. So she opened her eyes.

**Two minutes earlier. Everyone else's point of view.**

Chelsey, Madison and Aiden stood staring at the sleeping couple on the bed. Chelsey had come over a few minutes earlier to find her son on the couch with Aiden watching cartoons. Spencer was supposed to have brought him back to the studio about an hour ago and she got worried. When she asked were Spencer was, Clay had said she was still sleeping and he had not wanted to wake her. He had realized Aiden was home so he had asked him to keep him company. He liked Aiden.

Madison was sipping ice tea while leaning in the doorway of the kitchen, she looked rather bored. This changed when Clay mentioned that Spencer and Ashley looked really tired and were sleeping like the dead. Together.

So Madison led the way down the hall, closely followed by Aiden and Chelsey. It was childish to spy on the sleeping couple, but that did not stop them. They were just a few concerned friends making sure everything was okay.

They found Spencer wrapped around Ashley's left side, content as a baby kitten. All three smirked as they remembered conversations with Spencer on how over Ashley she was. _Yeah sure!_

"They look cute, do you think we should leave them or wake them?"

Madison looked over to the sleeping couple again, then back to Chelsey.

"I say we leave them. I would have liked to see Spencer's face when she woke up like that, but I think they look cute too."

Both turned questioning eyes towards Aiden. He shook his head.

"No, I say we wake them. Spencer's like five seconds away from drooling on Ashley's sho...Hey, what's she doing?"

Three pairs of eyes looked at the scene on the bed. Three pairs of eyes grew large as Spencer did her kissing and cupping trick. Aiden smiled wide and whipped out his camera phone, Madison just pulled a face and shook her head. Chelsey just muttered she was glad Clay was not in the room anymore and smiled.

When Ashley sighed and arched up, Aiden gave a very appreciative smile. He was capturing this moment for all man kind.

Madison spotted his stint as amateur photographer and advanced on him.

"Hey, give me the phone you pervert!"

This was yelled loudly into Aiden's face right before a palm connected with the back of his head.

The two girls on the bed froze, the spell they had woven around each other broken. When Spencer turned her head she wished the earth would swallow her whole. There stood her best friends staring at her while she basically molested Ashley in her sleep. She was too shocked to do anything, which meant her hand was still up Ashley's tank top.

Ashley was fully aware of this as she cleared her throat, drawing Spencer's saucer round eyes to her face. She gave a small supportive smile and then glanced down to her chest. Still in her shocked trance Spencer's eyes slowly followed suit. She frowned for a second then pulled her hand from the top so fast she fell backwards and off the bed. She broke the silence of the room with her "Umphf!" on impact.

"God, Spencer, we didn't meant to...you know...watch or anything. We were just debating if we should wake you, you know? And then you started with the groping and the idiot started with the camera phone and...Sorry?"

Chelsey had a pained expression on her face, clearly expecting Spencer to launch world war three at them for invasion of privacy. So it was with a great deal of shock that she registered the short look that passed between Ashley and Spencer, closely followed by them bursting into laughter.

It was the deep belly laugh that robbed you of breath and brought tears to your eyes. Ashley fell back against the pillow and threw an arm over her eyes as she shook with laughter. Spencer was laughing so hard her eyes were squinting shut and she was holding her stomach.

The other three just stood and stared at the spectacle until Ashley spoke between bursts of laughter.

"Still with the sleep groping, Spencer? I thought you learnt your lesson after the Kyla incident?"

It was not the first time Spencer had gotten a little over friendly in her sleep, the last time it happened Kyla had walked in and unfortunately for her, they had already progressed a lot further then simple groping. There might have been a little grinding and a lot more moaning involved.

"Shut up! I didn't mean to!"

Spencer was still laughing, but she was blushing rather violently as well.

"Don't worry, I know I'm irresistible, even in my sleep. I'm pretty sure even Madison tried to grope me once back in our sophomore year during a sleep over. I'm totally used to it by now."

She then turned to Aiden.

"Oh and I totally want copies of those pictures. I've got a nice spot over my fireplace where I can put a few up. Add them to the collection of my other soft porn photos of people groping me in my sleep, or on the London tubes, or that once in the Vatican city, yeah, good times."

She gave a dopey smile.

Madison rolled her eyes and started to shove a smiling Aiden out the room.

"We'll give you two a minute to...straighten yourselves out. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

With that the three of them disappeared out the door. Spencer got up off the floor and sat back down on the bed.

"Well, that was almost as embarrassing as the first time it happened."

Ashley was smiling gently at her.

"I guess so." She was quiet for a moment, a pensive look on her face. "Was still pretty damn hot though."

She gave Spencer a heavy lidded look, a look that clearly said she was still feeling the effects of the petting session from earlier. Spencer swallowed nervously.

"Ash, it doesn't mean...I was asleep, you know, not exactly aware of what I was doing."

Ashley knew what she meant. It did not mean they were jumping right passed the friendship part and back to being lovers. It did not mean she was magically forgiven and given the keys to the city or anything. It was just hard to not at least try at the moment, even after the promise she made to Spencer on the beach. She could not really help it, what with the feel of Spencer's lips on her neck still there, like the ghost of a touch lingering. She just wanted her so badly.

"Spencer, can we at least try?" Upon seeing Spencer's frown and realizing what it sounded like she quickly spoke again.

"I don't mean lets get it on or anything, just can't we try having dinner or something. Like a date, where we talk and hold hands and maybe kiss at the end of the evening?"

Spencer thought about it for a moment. She had wanted them to be friends again, Ashley had promised her it was enough. She looked over at Ashley and knew she could not be mad at her for breaking that promise. She had gotten her all worked up, not intentionally, but still. Could she really blame her for taking a chance? No, she could not, because as much as Ashley had changed, she was still Ashley Davies. And Ashley Davies was not scared to take a risk, granted in the past it had been dangerous, stupid risks. Never the important kind that involved her heart, but she had that courage now that she lacked seven years ago. So Spencer reasoned that maybe she should be brave enough to take her own risk. Fear be damned.

"Okay, but you promise me we take it slow, like turtle pace slow? 'Cos I'm going to be honest here and tell you that I'm still scared about how this is going to play out, but I'll take the risk if you will. Not that I'm promising my undying devotion here or anything, just dinner, okay?'

Ashley was doing cartwheels inside. It was a step in the door and that was all she needed. Spencer had unknowingly given her the okay to resuscitate her seduction plan. She would of course be sneaky about it, Spencer would not appreciate a full on onslaught at this time, but it would be done. She gave a bright smile as she nodded her head at Spencer.

"Okay, I understand and I want to say thank you for not getting angry at me. I remember what I said at the beach, about not pushing you and taking what I can get, but after the way I woke up, I guess I thought I owed it to myself to at least try for a little more than friendship. It was good between us once Spencer and I know it can be again. As friends and more."

Spencer gave a small nod. She just sat there and let Ashley's confidence wash over her. It was not really selling out if she had one date with Ashley, even if _two days ago _she had made it clear she was not going to do that, rush head long into things. She mentally slapped herself, who was she kidding, she was folding like an old lawn chair.

"So, we still on for the great wedding gift search tomorrow, because I've had an inspirational idea for one."

Spencer had almost forgotten about the shopping trip, her mind obviously distracted by the whole fondling and kissing of Ashley.

"Sure, I'm still game. What time are you picking me up?"

Ashley gave a small, mysterious smile, then leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Spencer's cheek.

"I'll surprise you tomorrow. Have a good night, Spence, only sweet dreams for you."

With that she got up and left the room. By the time she reached Kyla's house she had everything planned out for their day of shopping. A few phone calls had been placed and everything was set. She wanted to tell Kyla about it, but decided it was wiser to catch a cold shower first, she desperately needed to cool down.

Well, did not want to go over board with the whole dream groping thing and then failed miserably. Go figure! It's pretty late here in my inch of the world, so I apologize if this sucked, I'm pretty wiped out. So tell me what you thought, feedback is much appreciated as always.


	7. shopping for that special something

Hey, how you all doing? Me, I'm recovering from a hangover. That's what I get for going out two nights in a row and getting tanked, I'm officially an idiot. Oh, and I'm never drinking again. (Like anyone ever means that!)

So, sorry for not updating sooner, but I have so many ideas for Senior Year running around in my head that it drove me crazy. Plus I'm pretty lazy! Also thanks for the reviews, you all have my undying love and affection:)

Okay, I bet you can guess what I'm going to say now! Yup, you're right! SON is not mine, it never was and it will never be mine, so don't rub it in!

Okay, this chapter is a bit longer than the last and a bit boring, but the last bit makes up for that in my opinion. I think I did good, let me know what you think!

The Wedding

Chapter 7

Ashley was excited, something she rarely was at only 6:30 in the morning, but she had a pretty good reason for her morning cheer. She was going to spend another day with Spencer and she was going to make the most of it. She knew Spencer was warming up to the idea of having them be _them_ again. Of being Spencer and Ashley, girlfriends or partners or lovers or whatever else you wanted to call it. She knew it would happen and she was hoping for sooner rather then later.

She smiled to herself as she knocked on Spencer's front door and waited patiently for it to open. She was caught off guard when it was Aiden that greeted her on the other side of the door.

"Oh, uhm...Is Spencer home?"

She saw the smile on Aiden's face and realized she had sounded like a nervous sixteen year old talking to her girlfriend's father or something.

"Of course she's home, she's still fast asleep. You do know it's not even seven yet, right?"

Ashley smiled, Aiden was being nice to her. Maybe she would not have to have some awkward conversation with him about how sorry she was and all that, maybe it would just be okay between them.

"I'm fully aware of the time, kinda came this early on purpose. She's not a very clear thinker in the morning, so it makes ambushing her a little easier."

The smile on her face was one Aiden knew well, Ashley was on the hunt and it was always better to just get out of her way then. He gave her a knowing smile.

"Hmm, I see your point. Well, you know where her room is."

With that he slipped out the door and left, leaving Ashley to do what she came to do. She stood for a moment, running a hand through her hair, making sure it had that tousled and windblown look that Spencer once mentioned liking. It was no coincidence that she was wearing a white blouse either, she remembered how Spencer looked at her when she wore the colour, how her eyes would narrow slightly and her lips would quirk up in a small, almost not-even-there kind of smile. Like she was doing it without even knowing it. Ashley knew the colour made her skin appear even more bronzed than it was, that it contrasted against the dark, loose tresses of hair that lay spread over her shoulders. She looked good and that was the whole point of the tight, yet tasteful outfit she wore. She knew Spencer would appreciate it.

She did not bother knocking on Spencer's bedroom door, just walked right in and stood a moment glancing down at her. Spencer had always been beautiful, but in that moment she was even more so in Ashley's eyes. Maybe it was the promise the day held, the renewed hope she felt, she was not sure, but the sight of Spencer sleeping stole her breath away. For a few more seconds she let her eyes wander over the soft lips, the hair spread in every which way on the pillow, the closed lids that hid those beautiful blue eyes. She could never adequately name the blue of those eyes, maybe it had to do with the fact that they chanced with Spencer's mood, from sky blue when she was happy to an almost steely gray when she was sad. She was so lost in thought that she did not immediately notice that those blue eyes were open and watching her with some confusion.

"Ash, what are you...it's only..."

Spencer leaned over towards her alarm clock and let out a muffled groan when she saw the time. She sat up rather groggily.

"Hey, sleepyhead. You have to get up and get showered or we'll miss our flight."

Ashley made sure to give her best and biggest smile to Spencer, satisfied when she noticed Spencer blinking rather dazedly.

"Oh, okay." She got out of bed and then stopped abruptly. "Wait, what do you mean we're going to miss our flight?"

Ashley sighed, Spencer's brain had kicked in sooner than she had hoped.

"Well, you said you'd go present hunting with me."

Spencer gave a small, unsure nod.

"Yeah, I did, but what does that have to do with catching a flight?"

Ashley finally noticed what Spencer was sleeping in, it was a tank top and panties again. This time the panties had Sponge Bob Square Pants on them. She decided she officially loved cartoons again.

"The present I want to buy is in Miami. So you gotta hurry the hell up if we want to be on time. We've got lots to do and the day is wasting away!"

She then turned Spencer around by the shoulders and shoved her in the direction of what she hoped was the bathroom. She could not help but enjoy the view of Spencer's pert, pantie clad bottom as she walked mumbling into the bathroom. _Mine_, was the only thought floating in her head at that moment, _she's going to be all mine again_.

Twenty minutes later Spencer came out of her room freshly showered and dressed. Ashley smiled at the cleanly scrubbed woman and leaned in close. She kept her face an inch away from the skin of Spencer's neck and inhaled deeply.

"Hmm, I love your body wash, smells good enough to eat."

She made sure to let her breath trickle over Spencer's ear and had to hide her satisfied smirk when Spencer gave a small, almost imperceptible shiver.

"So, you ready or what?"

Spencer managed a small nod.

"I guess so, so lead the way."

They drove in silence to the airport, just enjoying the cd Ashley put on as soon as they hit the road. Inside the airport it was already busy, people scurrying around to catch a flight or pick someone up. Ashley took the opportunity to gently lace their fingers together and gave Spencer a soft smile.

"Don't want to lose you in a crowd or something."

Spencer rolled her eyes and gave her a look that said _Yeah, right!_, but she did not take her hand away. Ashley was smiling all the way onto the plane, even winked at the teenage boy that noticed their clasped hands and gave them a rather lascivious smile.

Spencer settled onto her seat and could only chuckle when Ashley very casually put her hand next to hers on the armrest, bringing their bare skin into contact. She had to admit Ashley was trying very hard to make it look natural, but Spencer was not stupid. She knew what Ashley was doing with the tickets to Miami, the hand holding, the casual touches and even the out fit. Ashley _knew_ what that colour did to her, how it somehow made her look sexier than usual and that Spencer had always noticed it.

"So explain to me again why we're heading for Miami?"

Spencer watched as Ashley gave a genuinely shy smile.

"Well, I heard the story of how Glen and Kyla got together, you know? Kyla said she didn't remember much, but that they both got drunk at you birthday party and she had suggested they fly to Miami. She couldn't tell me exactly why she chose Miami, she said she thought they might have been talking about that old show, you know the one with Don Johnson when he was still hot?"

Spencer just nodded her head.

"Anyway, so they got to Miami and she said it was great. They had found some place on the beach that was playing all this Cuban music and serving Cuban food. So they got even more hammered, danced and ate till the place closed up and finally just booked themselves into a hotel. She said it was one of the greatest nights, or mornings I guess, of her life. They slept the rest of the day and later hit the beach, strolling around and talking. She told me that it was that afternoon, just aimlessly walking with Glen in a city neither knew, that she fell in love with him. They had their first kiss on the beach, made love for the first time in that hotel room. She said she would always love Miami after that. So I thought I'd buy them a beach house there. So they could go back there whenever they wanted to, visit the place where they found their better half, you know? I don't know, maybe it's stupid, what do you think?"

Spencer had expected many different answers, but not that one. Ashley had surprised her, like she had so many times in the last few days. She looked at the beautiful, thoughtful young woman in front of her and had to fight the urge to kiss her. She settled for taking her warm hand in her own and squeezing it tightly.

"It's not stupid, Ashley. I think it's a wonderful gift, you obviously put a lot of thought and care into it. Kyla's lucky to have you as a sister, you love her so much."

Ashley looked a little uncomfortable for a moment, a look of sadness passing over her face.

"It's _me_ that's lucky to have _her_. I put her through some stuff, Spencer, stuff that you don't know about, no one back here probably knows about, but she stood by me. She helped me when I hit the bottom, she was there the day my eyes opened in some hospital room and I had to make a decision about my life. I'm not going to say I couldn't have done it without her, but God, it made it so much easier with her there telling me that I was worth loving, that no matter what happened I was her sister and she would never leave me. She definitively helped to glue some pieces back together again and for that I owe her more than I can ever repay."

Spencer was stuck on the word hospital. She remembered Kyla heading over to London rather hastily and she spent a good month there, but back then anything to do with Ashley had been a no-go area with Spencer, so she never asked the reason for the impromptu visit.

"Why were you in the hospital?"

Ashley sighed and gazed out the window for a moment before turning back to look at her. When she did, her usually warm brown eyes were almost black with the remembered sadness of that day.

"I'm going to tell you my whole, sad little story Spence, but not today. I just want us to have some fun today, buy a beautiful house for Glen and Kyla and have good Cuban food. The serious stuff can wait just a little bit, don't you think?"

Spencer knew that if she wanted the story now, Ashley would tell her, but she could understand that today was not the day for sad stories. She sensed that Ashley wanted a little time to think it over before having that conversation and she decided to give it to her.

"Sure Ash, whenever you're ready."

Ashley gave her a smile, but did not say anything more. The rest of the flight they just sat there, hands held tightly together.

When they finally stepped out of the airport in Miami, they were over come with heat. It was the hot, humid heat of the tropics, making your clothes cling to your instantly clammy body. Spencer could not say she honestly minded, as the view of Ashley with her shirt clinging to her like that was rather good. She had a suspicion that Ashley was giving her the same satisfied once over as her shirt was not doing any better.

"Come on, Spence, I'm pretty sure that guys our ride."

Spencer shook her head when she spotted the limousine and driver waiting in the no park zone.

"You got us a limo?"

Ashley just grabbed her hand and dragged her towards the black limo.

"Come on, Spence, I've got money coming out of my ears. Why not get a limo if you can afford one?"

She figured in Ashley Land that made sense, so she went with it. Ashley beat the driver to the door and held it open for Spencer, slipping in beside her afterwards. The air conditioner was on full blast and both let out a relieved sigh.

"God, I thought LA was hot! It's still early and the place is already cooking, I'm kind of glad you got us a limo with air con, you're a genius."

Ashley gave a huge smile.

"You only figure out I'm a genius now? You must be really slow!"

Spencer just smacked her in the arm and ignored the hurt puppy dog eyes Ashley threw her way.

"So do you have a house picked out already, or what?"

Ashley shook her head and leaned back against the seat.

"Nope, believe it or not but this gem of an idea only came to me when you were groping me yesterday. So I phoned up some people and lined up a lady to take us around to a couple of houses."

She inched closer on the seat and gave Spencer a soft smile. Spencer had blushed a deep red at the mention of the groping and this got Ashley all hot and bothered, Spencer used to go that exact colour when they did all the things that used to follow one of their groping sessions. Like grinding and biting and licking and well, you get the picture. She wondered if it would be considered 'rushing things' if they made out in the back of a limo, because she figured actually doing _it_ would be pushing it. At least in Spencer's eyes. Right now she hated the fact that she loved such a principled woman.

"So we get to pick one, as in me and you together?"

Spencer was liking the idea of being included in such a big step with Ashley. So, okay, they were buying a house for someone else, but it still felt nice.

"Of course, you're not here just so I have something pretty to look at, that just happens to be an added bonus. I figured you probably know more about houses than me, I might end up picking one because I like the fact that it's painted frog green or something. You're here to keep me sensible, okay?'

Spencer nodded her head.

"I can try, I guess. Keeping you sensible might be an impossible task though, you're kind of a handful."

Ashley gave a rather wicked smile as she pressed her thigh flush against Spencer's. Her words and proximity distracting the woman.

"You used to love the fact that I'm a handful, why I remember you telling me that yourself that afternoon in the girls locker room. You remember that, right?"

Spencer's blush returner with the memory of that afternoon. Ashley had been wearing one of her barely there tank tops that left her midriff bare and it had driven Spencer crazy. So crazy in fact that she had kidnapped Ashley and shoved her into the girls locker room and slammed her up against a wall. She remembered the weightiness of Ashley's breasts in her hands as she had whispered how she loved the feel of them, how they filled up her palms perfectly. How no one would fit so perfectly in her hands as Ashley did. She blushed again as Ashley's rather enthusiastic reaction to those words flooded her memory.

"Ah, not exactly what I meant, not to say that I didn't mean that too. No, wait, I mean that day I meant that, but today I meant...Oh, crap, stuff it. Are we there yet?"

She was babbling like an idiot and it was the cutest thing Ashley had ever seen. She could not help but laugh at the flustered woman sitting there all red faced again.

"Don't worry, Spence, I know what you meant. And yeah, I actually think we're at the first stop."

The rest of the day went smoothly, they saw a total of nine houses before sitting down for a late lunch or very early dinner, depending on your own opinion. Spencer had practically fallen in love with the fourth house they saw. It was a double story with windows everywhere, giving you a view of vast blue ocean that took your breath away.

"I say that's your winner. Kyla would love that view and Glen will go bananas for the entertainment center. It's perfect really, not too many other houses in the vicinity, so they would have peace and quiet, but still only a ten minute drive from a couple of restaurants and boutiques and stuff. It really is the perfect holiday house."

Ashley only nodded in agreement. She was pretty tired if she was honest, Spencer made her walk through all nine houses twice, sometimes even three times, pointing things out and asking the Estate agent questions that Ashley would never even have thought of. Like stuff about security systems and crime rates in the area, if there was any developments near by that could later detract from the property value. So many things that Ashley had actually started feeling sorry for estate agents.

"If you say it's the one, than it's the one. I'll give her a call quickly and tell her to get a rush on the paper work. What was her name again, Edna or Eliza or something?"

Spencer smiled as she handed Ashley a card with a name and number on it. She had made sure to get the cards from the three different estate agents that had shown them the houses as Ashley seemed to have no clue when it came to the whole business of buying a house.

"Her name's Elisha. She was the blond that kept staring at your ass, rather annoying woman actually."

Ashley was both surprised and happy to hear a note of jealousy in Spencer's voice. Surprised, because she had honestly not noticed the woman staring and happy, because that meant Spencer still cared, still disliked other people ogling what she had once claimed as her own. It brought a rather satisfied smirk to her face and she could not get rid of it if she tried.

"Really? I barely noticed her, was to busy looking at..." She let her eyes travel over Spencer's body, from her face to her breasts and back again, leaving no doubt what she was looking at. "...the houses."

Spencer just swallowed her food down and sighed. She was slowly crumbling under Ashley's attentions. The whole day she had been aware of the lingering looks, the soft touches, the sweet way Ashley did things for her, whether it was opening the car door or making the driver stop because she spotted a cigar shop and mentioned she would have liked to buy her dad something like that. Ashley had made her feel loved and cherished and turned on all at once. Most of all they had fun, even when Ashley was being dragged around houses she could not care less about, they had joked and teased and had a generally good time. It had felt good, it had felt _right_ and Spencer knew she had a lot to think about. Maybe it was time to let the past go.

They were both dead on their feet when they finally stopped in front of Spencer's house that night. Ashley had signed some papers and basically bribed the woman with a couple of grand extra, but the house key was in her back pocket without any more hassles. Spencer unlocked the front door but did not go inside, she just stood watching Ashley for a bit.

"I had a great time today, Ash. Thank you for that."

Ashley gave a tired, but happy smile.

"I should be thanking you, Spence. You picked the perfect house for Kyla, she's gonna love it. Besides, I had a great time too, today and yesterday with little Clay was probably the best days I've had in years."

Spencer saw the honesty in her eyes and felt her heart rate double. Deep down inside, she loved the fact that she was the only one that could make Ashley that happy.

"I'm glad you feel that way. So, I guess you could say today was like one weird, long date, right?"

Ashley watched as Spencer cocked her head to the side and smiled shyly, doing the one thing Ashley was powerless against. That shy smile drove her mad, the tilt of her face bringing back so many memories. She became aware of the tension in the air, it had been simmering between them the whole day, but now it was pulsing between them. For the life of her she could not look away from the suddenly intense blue gaze.

"Yes. Yes I guess you could say that."

Spencer gave a small nod. A blush was starting to creep up her chest, flowering onto her cheeks. She looked beautiful and Ashley could not help but give a step closer, almost invading her personal space.

"And isn't it customary to share a kiss after a date?"

Ashley felt the blood raging in her veins, the breath moving in and out of her lungs almost painfully. She was going to kiss Spencer Carlin for the first time in seven years and her body was going to implode any second now.

"Yes, I believe that's how it's done."

Spencer took a step closer, becoming aware of the immense heat rolling off of Ashley, how her chest was shakily rising and falling. Becoming aware of everything that was Ashley, the vanilla scent, the full crimson lips, those beautiful whiskey coloured eyes. She felt her heart painfully contract as she watched those eyes slowly come nearer, as she felt the soft breath on her mouth before lips settled against her own.

It was an explosion of feelings and memories, it was every kiss they ever had and at the very same time the first kiss they ever shared. It was familiar and yet new after seven years. Ashley felt like crying when their lips moved against each other, fitting so naturally and easily. She felt the last of her restraint snap when the tip of a tongue touched her bottom lip. Her arms shot out and pulled Spencer to her, their bodies almost smashing together with the unintentional force. When Spencer gasped at the action she let her tongue slip into the sweetness that was Spencer's mouth. She was home.

Spencer was seconds away from collapsing when Ashley had roughly dragged her into her arms, making her gasp in surprise and pleasure as she felt all of Ashley pressed firmly against all of her. When Ashley's tongue darted into her mouth she almost groaned out load it felt so good. She buried her hand in the soft tangled hair at the base of Ashley's head and pulled her closer if that was at all possible. She let need take over as she sucked on the soft, delicious bottom lip before running her tongue over long forgotten territory, happily dueling with Ashley tongue afterwards. She let her hand wander over the firm skin of Ashley's back, let her fingertips run up and down the spine making Ashley moan in her mouth. A hand settled firmly against her breast and she sucked in much needed air as lips moved to the base of her neck to suck on delicate skin.

It was in this position that Spencer became aware of a car door slamming and she felt cold wash over her as she locked eyes with blue eyes startlingly similar to her own. She pushed against Ashley's shoulders.

"Ash, you have to stop."

Ashley groaned in disappointment as she lost her hold on Spencer, but she understood and was firmly broken out of her daze when she followed Spencer's line of sight.

"Oh for fucks sake! Are we ever gonna catch a brake?"

Spencer could not help but smile at the almost pained expression on Ashley's face as they watched a disapproving looking Paula walk their way.

Okay, that's it for today folks, I'm all worn out from writing now. So drop me a line and tell me what you think, if you hate it or love it or just could not give a damn about it. Anyway, I think I'm gonna tackle the bachelorette party next! Could be fun!


	8. mommy dearest

Sorry for only updating once this week, but I'm pretty tired by the time I get home at night. Probably not the best excuse, but it's still true seeing as I work like six days a week!

Thank you for the reviews, made my heart feel all warm and fuzzy!

So I don't own it, it has taken _months_ of therapy to come to terms with it, but now I've excepted it. It's not mine, see? The more I say it, the easier it gets! NOT!!!!

I'm shutting up now, sorry for rambling.

The wedding

Chapter 8

Spencer was _fuming_. For years she had subconsciously been waiting to kiss Ashley again, to feel her heartbeat so close to her own. It had been so good, so _indescribably_ good, but her damn mother of all people had to show up! Now she loved her mother, really she did, but at that moment if she could have fed her to the sharks, or thrown her into a volcano, or given her that gross flesh eating bacteria, she would have. She was_ that_ disappointed that their kiss was interrupted.

Ashley was not looking any better, she was still breathing heavily, her face flushed a deep red. Her eyes were boring into Paula one second, then on Spencer's own flushed face, then back to Paula. It looked like she was weighing her options and indeed that was the case. She was seriously considering just telling Paula to take a hike and get Spencer back to doing what they were doing. On the one hand, it was what her body was screaming for her to do, while on the other her head told her to just gracefully make her excuses and leave. Tomorrow, after all, was another day. So she decided to just let it go, but not before she made it clear to Paula where things stood now.

"So I guess this is my cue to leave, but I'll call you later, maybe sing you a lullaby or something, okay love?"

Spencer wondered if she picked up the endearment in London, because if anything Ashley had only ever called her Spence or babe back in the old days._ Love_, she thought, she kinda liked it. She also liked the small, yet sweet smile she gave her.

"I'm holding you to that. And thanks again for today, it was great. _Everything_ was great."

Ashley knew she was referring to the kiss and she also knew it would not be their last one. Spencer did not regret it, her heart burst with happiness when the thought sunk in. She casually leaned over and pressed her lips to Spencer's, just holding them there for a second or two, not caring that Paula was clearing her throat in irritation.

"Goodbye, Spence." She gave her a brilliant smile, the kind that wrinkled her eyes it was so big and automatically Spencer returned it. "Paula." A brisk nod was all she gave her way before leaving.

"Well, I guess we should head in?"

She let her mother pass through the door and followed her in. She was not looking forward to the conversation with her mother, knowing full well it would be about Ashley. This was confirmed the minute they sat down in the lounge.

"Spencer, what where you thinking!"

Paula's voice was stern, her face set even harder, but Spencer was not intimidated. She was immune to intimidation, after all, she _was_ living with Madison.

"I was thinking I was going to get lucky, but I guess you put a stop to that happening tonight."

She knew it was a crude thing to say and not even a hundred percent true, but she was tired and ticked off and a little hot under the collar! Paula had picked the wrong moment to come and interrupt.

Paula's mouth dropped open and she blinked blankly for a few seconds.

"Spencer! I can't believe you would say that! Dear God, do you see what _she_ does to you?!"

Spencer inwardly smiled as her mother's eyes bugged out and she turned red. She was so going to hell for this.

"Hmm...I can't _see_ what she does to me, but I can sure _feel_ it." She gave a small chuckle "If you know what I mean."

Innuendo was not lost on Paula, so her angry blush just spread as she sputtered.

"I can't believe you have so little respect for me! I don't know you, Spencer. It was always the same, when Ashley is in your life, I can honestly say I don't know my own daughter. Do you know how much that scares me, how useless I feel then?" Spencer was utterly surprised and remorseful when tears sprang to Paula's eyes. _Actual tears_. "Do you know how scary the thought is that I could lose my daughter to someone like Ashley, someone who hurt her so much, so easily?"

Spencer was immediately contrite. She knew deep down that her mother only ever wanted to keep her safe, protected her from what, or in this case who, she thought could hurt her. She walked to where her mother was sitting on the couch and dropped down next to her. She took her hand gently.

"I'm sorry I said that, I was just...I don't know. I'm just sorry, okay. I know you just want the best for me, you always have, but at some point you have to let _me_ decide what is best for me, Mom. I know you don't think Ash is good for me, you never have and to be fair, she never let you see any other side of her to let you think differently. But don't think just because you can't see it, that side isn't there. I know she hurt me and I'm not blindly jumping into things here, but I love her. I don't think that will ever change, just like the fact that I need you and Dad, will never change. Ashley would never steal me away from you, she knows how important family is to me, hell, she used to tell me how she envied me. Envied Us. Can't you just give her a chance, let her show you what I see in her, because I want her in my life, Mom, and I want you to approve of her. I don't like admitting it, no child ever does, but it's important for me that you and Dad can both approve of the person I care about. Can you just try? Please?"

Paula was quiet, a far away look on her face. She was squeezing Spencer's hand unconsciously, nervously. It was a long few minutes before she got her emotions under control enough to turn to her daughter.

"I...I guess I can do that, but it won't be easy for me Spencer. I remember how she hurt you and I can't easily forgive someone for hurting you."

Spencer could understand that, even appreciate it on some level.

"Well, I think maybe Ashley feels the same about you."

Noticing her mother's confused look she continued.

"When you found out about me, about my sexuality, your reaction hurt me. Ashley saw that and whether you can believe it or not, she cares about me. A lot. So I don't think it's easy for her to let go and forgive you for hurting me that night, for hurting her even."

Paula felt shame wash over her, just for a second. She had done what she had done for the good of her daughter, at least at the time that is what she had felt was best for her. She looked into Spencer's face and maybe for the first time realized she was not a child anymore. She was a smart, beautiful young woman who lived her life unashamedly. She felt a measure of pride in that, she had helped shape the strong individual before her, even if it was only in a small way. Even if she had probably hurt her along the way, Spencer was stronger for it. Maybe it was time she stepped aside and let her daughter lead her life.

"I'm sorry for everything I did back then. I can only say I was trying to do what I thought was best for you. I guess I even feel a little bad about what I did to Ashley, I could have handled it differently, but my first priority was you, Spencer. So I'll try, because you asked me to, I'll really try to get to know Ashley, but will _she_ be willing?"

Spencer thought about it, about the animosity Ashley had always felt towards her mother, but she also remembered the longing in Ashley's eyes. The longing to be loved like Paula loved Spencer. The way a mother should love her child.

"I think she will, I'll talk to her about it. And Mom, just try to remember that Ashley does not know what it is like to have a parent that actually gives a damn about her, that _wants_ a say in her life. She's used to looking out for herself, to protecting herself, so if she does not warm up to you immediately, it's just 'cause she's scared, she doesn't want to be hurt."

Paula could not help but snort out loud.

"Ashley? Scared? I don't think so, especially not of me. She's made that clear on more than one occasion."

Spencer shook her head sadly.

"I think you scare her, I think on some level the fact that she wants you to like her, scares her. Think about that the next time you give her the death stare."

Spencer did not know if that was true, maybe Ashley did simply not like her mother, but she hoped she was right. She hoped that Ashley would want to make an effort with her mother. For everyone's sake.

The next day found Ashley phoning up Madison. She needed a partner in crime and Spencer just did not fit the bill for what she was up to. There was a batchelorette party to be planned, and unless they wanted to end up going to Disney Land, Spencer would have to be kept in the dark.. She smirked into the receiver as Madison finally answered.

"Hey, slut, I need your help with something."

She could imagine Madison rolling her eyes.

"Oh, joy, my life is complete. Ashley Davies _needs_ me!"

The weight of the sarcasm could buckle a building.

"Oh, don't get too excited, I only need you 'cos I don't know anyone else that can get me strippers on short notice. Lucky for me like half your cousins are in the business, don't you think?"

Madison sucked in a breath.

"Hey, it's one cousin, _one_. And what the hell do you want with a _male _stripper?"

Ashley rolled her eyes, Madison could be dense sometimes.

"Umm...Hello, my sister's getting married in two days. Why do you think I want strippers! Bachelorette party! Do I need to elaborate on that, or has that tiny brain of yours caught on?"

Madison made a funny squeeking sound.

"Ooh, finally someone that wants a decent party. God knows I love Spencer, but I'd much rather have you help me with the party. An old drunk like you probably has all the party tricks down."

Ashley rolled her eyes this time.

"Hey, _you're_ helping _me_ with the party. And I'm so not a drunk anymore, did you miss the memo or something, I'm all about the sober now."

Ashley wanted to make that clear, sure she still enjoyed a good party, but she was done with _party_ _perks. _

"Fine, whatever, so how many do we need and where should we have it?"

It was a good twenty minutes later that they got of the phone, planning on just meeting with Madison's cousin Soulful Steve, _obviously_ his stripper name, to finalize everything.

Spencer meanwhile was going slowly insane. Ashley had called her the previous night as promised, but had been maddeningly silent the whole morning. To top it off, when Spencer tried to phone her, it was on voice mail. All kinds of thoughts were running through her head, mostly bad.

"Do you think she just woke up this morning and realized I wasn't worth it? Maybe my Mom catching us making out in public freaked her out or something. Maybe...I don't know...why isn't she calling me, damn it?!"

Kyla smiled as she watched Spencer where she lay sprawled on the couch staring at her phone like it had personally insulted her character or something.

"God, Spencer, when did you turn into Little Miss Insecure? She told me she had stuff to do this morning, she's probably just busy. I'm sure she'll call soon."

Spencer bit her bottom lip, she knew she was being an idiot, but she just wanted to see her again. Like, right now.

"Oh, God. Your sisters turned me into a ball of clingy mush. I mean I'm lying on my couch crying like a baby 'cos she hasn't phoned me yet. When did I regress into a moody, moon eyed teenager again. This sucks!"

Kyla laughed at the pained look on Spencer's face. The young woman was so enamored with her sister it was sad. She was really acting like a nervous teenager waiting for her date to call her the next day.

"If it helps, she was bursting out of her skin last night when she got home. She literally could not stay still, she was bouncing around like a kid with ADD in the kitchen. God, it was Spencer this and Spencer that and evil Paula and something about wanting to kiss you till she passes out. Really, you too make me sick, you're so into each other. Couldn't even last a full week before trying to jump one another, Madison filled me in on your little afternoon nap by the way. I'm still in therapy over that very same thing, no one should have the image of her sister doing _that_ with anyone."

It was true, she so had not needed to catch her sister in the throws of passion. She burst out laughing when she realized she had just used the phrase _throws of passion _in her head She really had to lay of the steamy romance novels.

"What's so funny, it's a natural, normal act between people who love each other, okay? So we were barely conscious, but that's so not the point and I've said I was sorry. Besides, you think I don't know what you and Glen did in the back of _my_ car? I think we're pretty much even."

Kyla completely ignored the nervous babble coming from Spencer. She was too busy reading a text message from no one other than Ashley herself.

"Hmm, Ashley just sent me a message."

Spencer practically jumped of the couch.

"Really? What did she say, where is she, is she coming over?"

Kyla gave Spencer a look telling her exactly how pathetic she was being. Spencer just ignored it.

"Come on, what did she say?"

Kyla just shook her head.

"She says we have to go out and buy something sexy and be ready to be picked up by eight. That's all."

Spencer visibly deflated.

"Oh."

Her face lit up though when her phone started to ring and Ashley's name flicked across the screen. Kyla just smiled and wondered how they had managed to survive seven years without each other. They clearly could not last more than a few hours without one of them going completely insane!

Okay, I know that was short, but I'm hitting the movies tonight and need to get ready. So once again, don't be shy to have your say, whether it be yay or nay!


	9. a flaw in the plan

So it's almost nearing the end, maybe another two or three chapters, I'm not sure. Anyway, I wanted to thank everyone for the reviews, it's a great encouragement to me when you review, so thanks!

So I'm planning on stealing SON from the Lynch man, he's had it long enough, I say we liberate it for the people! I can so do the Robin Hood thing, if I had money to fly to America that is ( I _knew_ there'd be a flaw in my plan!). Oh well, its his for now I guess.

So on with the boring story!

The wedding

Chapter 9 (Holy crap! I can't believe I've made it this far!!!!!)

Spencer was happily twirling around in front of her mirror, watching as her skirt billowed out and gave a glimpse of thigh. The halter top, which shimmered either green or silver depending on where you stood, made her eyes appear at once blue and green. She liked the outfit and decided not to worry about the credit card bill she would receive at the end of the month, some things worth could not be measured in monetary terms alone. She knew that Ashley's appreciation would make it worth it for her.

A knock at her bedroom door was followed by Madison strolling in. She looked like sin wrapped in a tight, red dress.

"Well, Ms Duarte, if I wasn't already rather smitten with a certain someone, I'd pretty much be drooling right about now."

Madison flicked her hair and struck a pose. She gave Spencer a coy look.

"Really, you think I look good?"

Spencer just laughed and nodded her head. She turned back to her mirror and started on her make-up.

"So I gathered from Ashley things between you are back on track?"

Spencer smiled shyly, actually blushing a second later as she remembered the kiss.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

Madison smirked.

"You're so far gone you can't see straight, aren't you?" There was a gentleness to the question one would not associate with Madison.

"I guess I am." She was quiet for a moment, a thoughtful look about her. "She won't hurt me again, she loves me, I know that. I think I always knew that, but I don't regret the past seven years. If we had stayed together back then it wouldn't have worked. Don't ask me how I know that, but I do."

Madison nodded her head. She knew what she meant. The Ashley of seven years ago would have just screwed it up in a different way.

"I'm happy for you. I really am. I guess it's safe to say you're my best friend these days and I know I don't say it enough, or like _ever_, but I love you. You're a good person, Spencer and good people deserve good things. Ashley's your good thing, hold on to that, okay?"

Spencer gave her a small nod.

"Not sure there's anything that could make me let go at this point."

Madison hopped up from her seat on the bed.

"Okay, enough with the sappy shit and tell me again how hot I look!"

Spencer just smiled and finished her make-up. It was almost time for them to be picked up and Madison still would not tell her where they were going. Spencer knew enough about both Madison and Ashley to know where ever it was, it was going to be fun. And probably illegal.

Spencer was not surprised when a limo pulled up in front of their house ten minutes later. Ashley had no qualms about using her money to show off a bit it seemed. She quickly ran to her front door, excitement to see Ashley and spend an evening out with her driving her to break neck speed. She was not disappointed by the view when she opened her door. Ashley was grinning from ear to ear as she made her way speedily to Spencer, no easy thing with the heels she was wearing. Or the fact that her dress was tight and short and one wrong move would burst a seem!

"Hey."

"Hey."

Both stood grinning at each other, simply taking in the sight. Spencer tentatively brought a hand up to Ashley's hair, pushing a tendril of rich mocha color back behind her ear.

"You look beautiful."

"So do you."

Spencer wondered if it was normal to hear Elvis sing 'I can't help falling in love' in her head. She did not think so, but it did not matter, not when Ashley was smiling at her. Not when she was looking at her with nothing but wonder and love reflected on her face.

"I almost forgot how much I love just looking at you."

"I love looking at you too, but I kinda love kissing you more."

Spencer tilted her head and smiled, unaware of how it affected Ashley. Unaware of how her chest became almost constricted and how hard it was to breathe normally. How hard it was to not just break down and grab her and hold her forever.

"Was that an invitation?"

"I'm pretty sure it was, yes."

"Okay."

A beat later and Spencer was still waiting.

"Well, are you gonna kiss me or what?"

"Of course I'm gonna kiss you, I was just taking a second to..." Her voice drifted off as she gave a weird little smile.

"To what?"

Ashley bit her bottom lip shyly.

"To appreciate the fact that this isn't me dreaming, that this is really _you_ asking _me_ to kiss you. There was a time I didn't think you'd want me to kiss you ever again."

Spencer did not bother answering, she simply pulled Ashley to her gently. She let her nose snuggle closer to that vanilla scented neck she so loved. They stood like that for a while, breathing in time with one another.

"Ash, I plan on wanting you to kiss me for about the next fifty years of my life."

"I'm pretty sure I can manage that." She pulled away a few inches. "Wanting to kiss you is like a permanent thing with me anyway."

"I know exactly how you feel, so how about we get to the actual kissing?"

"Pretty sure that's another thing I can manage."

Ashley was as good as her word. She managed to kiss Spencer, thoroughly so. It was slow and soft and all kinds of gentle. It was also rather chaste, but Spencer kind of liked that too. It was not always about blind passion between them, it was there of course, but it had never been the basis of their feelings.

"Hey, this is a first. No one interrupted us, we stopped all on our own. I kinda feel proud of that fact."

Spencer smiled and nodded her head.

"Yup, it's a sure sign of our growing maturity and restraint. No more groping like a bunch of teenagers and then being caught by...well...everyone!"

Ashley wiggled her eyebrows and gave her a lingering kiss on the lips.

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say no more groping _at all_, but I agree on the getting caught part. We're so past that."

As her hand started creeping down Spencer's back towards the rather alluring destination of her right bum cheek, Madison finally made her appearance at the door.

"God, are you two at it again. I see that straying hand Ashley Davies!"

Said hand pulled back rather reluctantly. Ashley scowled as Spencer laughed.

"Okay, so maybe we're not as passed that as I would have liked. Anyway, we have to get moving, there's a batchelorette party to be had ladies!"

Ashley was feeling pretty good by the time they reached the rather exclusive club where the party was to be held. They had reserved a VIP room where the thirty or so hastily invited woman could do as their hearts desired.

They were immediately attacked by loud music and writhing bodies when they entered. Spencer automatically held on tighter to Ashley's hand which just made her smile wider. The guest of honor, Kyla, was shoved into a chair placed right in front of the stage.

"Is that a stripper pole? Did you get me strippers?!"

The excited exclamation was met with laughter as Kyla bounced in her chair like an exuberant child. Not a minute later Soulful Steve and about four other rather handsome, well built dancers lined up on the stage. Amidst loud applause and wolf whistles, disturbingly even from Spencer Ashley noted, the dancing and stripping commenced.

Two hours into the evening a rather buzzed Madison strolled over towards Spencer and Ashley as they danced with a few others.

"Hey, I got a little surprise for the two of you. I didn't think it was fair for all of us straight girls to get a show, so I got you a stripper too!"

To Spencer's horror and Ashley's amusement the spotlight on the stage came on and revealed a rather tall, rather toned redhead wearing a bunny tail and not much else. Of course, Ashley's humor slowly dissolved a few minutes later as she found herself sitting next to an avidly staring Spencer in front of the stage.

"Holy crap, did you see that Ash!"

Spencer was referring to the stripper, AKA Ruby Devine, hanging upside down and top less from the pole holding on with just ridiculously muscled thighs.

"Please, you should see the stuff they do in Thailand, makes her look like an amateur."

It was true, she once saw a chick in Thailand do a thing with a ping-pong ball that no one should be able to do.

"So you hung around a lot in strip clubs all around the world, Ash?"

Ashley missed the teasing note in Spencer's question as she rushed to reassure her.

"Oh, no no no, not at all. Was just out with a friend and messed up drunk and kind of ended up there without even realizing it was a strip club until the ping-pong ball wizzed past my head!"

Spencer's eyes almost popped out of her head.

"Ping-pong ball! I thought that was a myth! You really saw it?"

Ashley nodded her head, just happy Spencer was not mad.

"Yup, freaked me the fuck out too. It's just not the kind of thing you really want to see in person."

She pulled a face at the hazy memory, it really was not on her list of things to see before she died.

"I guess not, no. Hey, do you know where the bathroom is?"

Ashley nodded and gladly led the way. She did not think it was healthy to be jealous of the way Spencer watched the short strip show, she knew it was more out of curiosity than anything else. Still bugged the crap out of her though.

Her thoughts were stilled when she was gently shoved against the door of the bathroom and thoroughly kissed. Spencer was all over her in a matter of seconds, hands and lips marking territory as she went. Ashley for her part let this go on for a good few minutes before pushing her back gently.

"God Spence, please tell me it wasn't the talk about the ping-pong balls that brought this on, because I don't mind kinky, really I don't, but that's just plain scary to me!"

Spencer just chuckled as she ran her hands through Ashley's hair and kissed the tip of her nose.

"No, this was purely Ashley induced. I mean I'm allowed to kiss my...um...girlfriend when I want to, right?"

Ashley was doing all kinds of happy dances in her head at Spencer's shy smile and the questioning way she said girlfriend.

"Yes, you can kiss your _girlfriend_ whenever you want, even if it happens to be in a strip clubs' bathroom. And they say romance is dead!"

Spencer looked around and blushed.

"Yeah, okay, not the best setting, but I couldn't really help myself. Never could when it came to you."

She dove straight back into the kissing then, reminding Ashley of her rather healthy appetite for all things involving them naked. Ashley seriously thought about letting things head where Spencer was leading them, but in the end stopped the hand that was inching up her thigh.

"Spence, not here, okay?"

Spencer was flushed and breathing deeply at this point.

"You mean you don't want to?"

Ashley kissed her softly when she heard the tone of uncertainty in her voice.

"Of course I do, but I don't want our first time to be in a bathroom."

Spencer bit her lip and cocked her head.

"You do realize this wouldn't be our first time, not by any stretch of the imagination."

Ashley chuckled at the truth of those words.

"I know, but it's been seven years. This would be like a new first time."

Spencer remembered the day she expressed the wish to have a new first time. She also remembered the gentle, loving way Ashley gave her that new first time. Her heart warmed at the thought that Ashley wanted it to be special, wanted it to be everything a first time should be.

"I guess that's kind of true. It would be the new and improved Ashley and the, hopefully, new and improved Spencer's first time."

Ashley lifted the hand on her thigh and kissed the warm palm.

"Exactly! And you never needed to improve, the old Spence was everything I could ever wish for and the new improvements are just a bonus."

They kissed once more before heading out of the bathroom and joining the rest of the dancing woman in varying degrees of drunkenness. On top of the stage Kyla and Madison had both found themselves a male counterpart to dirty dance with.

"Hey, isn't that Madison's cousin she's basically dry humping with?"

Ashley looked again and found that it was indeed Soulful Steve that was grinding hips with Madison. She gave a rather naughty smile at Spencer as she leaned closer to her ear.

"Ever hear the expression 'Cousins makes dozens'?"

Spencer 'ewwed' for about a second before she burst out laughing.

The rest of the evening went well, luckily Madison ended up leaving with someone not related to her and Kyla only vomited once. Spencer for her part had been a little more subdued, sure she had danced and joked with Ashley, but there was something bothering her. Ashley knew her well enough to know there was something on her mind. She debated asking her as they rode in the quiet limo with a sleeping Kyla across from them.

After another five minutes of watching Spencer stare out of the window, she decided to ask.

"Spence, is there something on your mind?"

Spencer was startled out of her thoughts by the question and the gentle squeeze of Ashley's hand. There was indeed something she was wondering about, had been wondering about ever since her love-fuzzed brain had cleared a bit. She worried at her bottom lip as she looked into Ashley's warm brown eyes.

"We're together now, right? I mean you said as much in the bathroom, so I've been wondering..." She was quiet again, leaving her sentence just hanging in the air. "I've been wondering how this is going to work."

Ashley was confused for her part. She was not sure where Spencer was going with this.

"First of, yes, we're together now, much groveling on my side has assured that luckily. Second, what do you mean how is this going to work?"

Spencer gave her a look that asked if she was being stupid.

"Ashley, I asked how this was going to work, because you live in London now and I live in LA."

Ashley mentally kicked herself as she realized two things. First off she _was_ being stupid, because their living in different countries was an obvious problem and second, because it was an obvious problem she had _not _realized they had during her whole campaign to get Spencer back. So much for thorough planning on her part!

She looked into Spencer's face and not for the first time in their history together, Ashley hesitated after a very important question was asked.

Okay, there is my weekly update for you. I think it was kinda fluffy, so I decided to throw a spanner into the works at the end and see what happens! Let me know what you think, or don't, that's cool too.


	10. midnight conversations

Okay, so I apologize for only updating now. I needed to think about where I wanted this to go and then realized that I should just stop worrying about it and just write. So I wrote.

I also wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of those that read and reviewed my little one shot, The last goodbye. It was much appreciated.

So Christmas is only a few months away and I thought I'd get started on my wish list early. I've been a very good girl this year, so I know Santa will get me a present. So top on my list that I've already emailed to him is the rights to Son. So it's not mine, but ask me again after Christmas! You never know!

The wedding

Chapter 10

Ashley sat for another few minutes, quietly contemplating the question. She knew Spencer was shifting in her seat beside her, anxious for an answer. She knew full well that Spencer hated her hesitation, her lack of a quick, clean answer for the question, but Ashley wanted to really think about it.

There was no doubt that she wanted to be with Spencer, but she was painfully aware of the fact that she had responsibilities back in London. She had her job, her flat, her life there. She sighed as she thought of all things she would have to leave behind. The soft hand that crept into hers reminded her of all the things she would be gaining.

"You know, this habit you have of not answering when I ask pretty important questions are kind of annoying."

Spencer's voice was light, but Ashley recognized the fear in her undertones. For a second she felt hurt that Spencer was still doubting her, but she could not with a clear conscious blame her. She had once been the master of disappointment after all.

"I know, but I'm just taking a moment to think it through. This isn't hesitation so much as it is deep contemplation."

Ashley smiled as a small chuckle reached her ears and kissed Spencer's temple when she pulled her into her side. She wanted her close, wanted her to feel her reassurance in her embrace.

"You were never much for deep contemplation if I remember correctly, more of a do first and think later, if ever, kind of girl."

Ashley smiled again, because that was true. The people here had never known her as anything but a hot headed, irresponsible girl. Her smile faded as she realized that changing their minds about her might not be so easy. Even Spencer, who she knew was crazy in love with her, probably still had doubts.

"Well, I like to think I've come a far way since those days."

Spencer just gave a small nod, giving Ashley the time she needed. She was fully aware that one of them would have to give something up to be together, something big and that deserved careful thought. Her train of thought was interrupted by Ashley's uncharacteristically demure voice.

"A few years back, after I cleaned up my act and dropped the drugs, I wanted to come back. I had my ticket reserved and everything. Then it hit me. Even if I came back, what would I have been coming back to? I knew you were with Carmen and I realized that I didn't stand a chance. So I stayed, I built a life for myself, got a job, even a few good friends. It's nice really, I have pottery classes on Tuesday nights, I go away every second month to my place in Spain and I have a job that I really love that keeps me busy for the rest of the time. A lot of people have way less than that to be happy with. But you know what?"

Ashley tilted Spencer's face towards her, looked deep into her scared blue eyes.

"It's still empty."

Spencer waited for her to go on and explain what she meant, but Ashley seemed lost in thought again. Ashley's words had scared her. There was a part of her still waiting for the old Ashley to poke her head in the door and blow all of Spencer's new found dreams out the water.

"Ash?"

Spencer hated the fact that her voice sounded so small, so scared in that moment. At least it broke Ashley out of her silent, sightless stare out of the window.

"It's still empty because I don't have you. Didn't have you. This all happened so quickly that I sometimes think I'm going to blink and it's all going to disappear, like it was some kind of mirage and I'm just stumbling around in a dessert somewhere, delusional and lost." She was quiet again, but only because she pressed a kiss against Spencer's forehead. "But this isn't a delusion, a dream. This is really us. So if keeping you means moving back here, leaving everything I built for myself in London then that's what I'm going to do."

Spencer felt guilty in that moment. She wanted to be with Ashley, but not if it was going to cost her so much. She loved her too much to do that to her.

"I don't want you to give up everything you've built for yourself. We can work something out. I mean you have a point, we're barely back together again after _seven years_! I can't expect you to drop everything for a relationship that may not even be worth it in the end."

Spencer almost gasped in shock when Ashley rather abruptly pushed her away from her and held her at arms length.

"Don't say that! Don't doubt this already. God, do you know how long I've dreamed of this, of being able to just hold you again? Yes, I have a good life in London, but did you just completely miss the part of my little speech where I told you it's all empty without you? Do you know that the short time that I knew you, that I called you mine, was the happiest time of my life?" Ashley swallowed down the urge to cry old tears. "Spencer, I have an okay life in London, I really found my feet there, but in the end I truly believe that I could have a _great_ life with you. Besides I want to come home, I have Kyla here. I have family here. I want to be around when Kyla and Glen have their first child. I'm kind of sick of missing everything in her life that matters, that her sister is supposed to be there for."

Spencer took the hand off her left shoulder and pressed a warm kiss to its palm.

"You've thought of coming back for a while now, haven't you?"

Ashley was surprised that Spencer read her so well. It was true that she had on and off over the last few years toyed with the idea of moving back to Los Angeles.

"Yes, more times than you can imagine. The most memorable was when Kyla casually mentioned that you and Carmen had broken up. I remember thinking it would be faster if I just hired a jet or something, just so I could get here faster. Of course, common sense burst my little bubble pretty quickly. I realized you wouldn't have been, how shall I put this? Receptive to my advances after breaking up with your girlfriend of five years. So I ended up telling myself that it was for the best, that you were better off without me anyway."

It was Spencer's turn to pull Ashley into her arms, holding her tightly as if it would somehow impress her words more deeply to her.

"I could never be better off without you in my life. Don't think you were the only one only half living your life. I was in a dead end relationship for five years simply because I was too afraid."

Ashley looked into Spencer's eyes with a questioning look. Silently asking what she was afraid of.

"I was afraid to admit to myself that I missed you. That no one made me laugh like you did, that no one could just look at me and make me feel loved like you did. Carmen was my subconsciouses poor substitute for you. I used her to try and forget you, or replace you. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm willing to sacrifice a few things as well to have what I want. And what I want more than anything is you Ashley. So we can try and work something out, something that suits us both, but if you really want to move back? Well I won't stand in your way, hell, I'll welcome you with open arms."

Ashley smiled at that, in the way that only Ashley Davies can smile. With lips and eyes and crinkling nose.

"So it's settled then. After the wedding I'll have to go back, just to sort everything out on that side and then I'll come back. To you."

They sat there smiling at each other for a long time, both just enjoying the fact that they most definitively had a future together. Ashley quirked an eyebrow when Spencer suddenly burst out laughing.

"What's so funny all of a sudden?"

It was almost a full minute before Spencer could control her laughter enough to answer.

"You take pottery classes?!"

Ashley groaned out loud.

"God, you had to remember that, didn't you? Look, it's actually very relaxing and I've made some really kick ass mugs if you must know."

Spencer snickered at that.

"Come on, tough, bad ass Ashley Davies makes mugs in pottery class in her spare time. Can you really blame me for finding that odd?"

Ashley just rolled her eyes.

"Well you just blew your chance at having a one of a kind, specially made coffee mug. And when you do see my collection, you're really going to regret that."

Spencer smiled sweetly and kissed her cheek.

"Where you really going to make me one?"

Ashley gave a small smile in return.

"No, before tonight I had no intention of you ever finding out I did something as mundane as pottery. I mean, I do have a reputation to uphold, I may not be all sex, drugs and rock 'n roll anymore, but I'm still pretty damn hardcore!"

Spencer gave into the impulse to kiss Ashley and it was quiet for a few more seconds as they rather chastely savored the feel of the others lips. They both pulled away with satisfied smiles.

"You know, I'm not really knocking the whole pottery thing. I watched Ghost, pottery can be loads of fun."

Ashley shook her head at that, but visions of Spencer and her sitting around a pottery wheel enacting the scene out of Patrick Swayze's Ghost was already flooding her mind. If pottery had not been fun before that, it sure would be afterwards.

"It sure has it's merits."

The limo finally pulled up into Spencer's drive way signaling the end of their time together for the evening. Ashley wanted nothing more than to stay with her, but she had to take care of Kyla. So she walked her to her door and kissed her cheek softly.

"I'm glad we got all that out tonight. I'm going to sleep a thousand times better knowing where we stand."

Spencer shook her head in agreement.

"We should do this whole talking thing more often, it really has been working for us."

Ashley just smiled as she leaned in to kiss her once more. She hated the fact that she had to pull away, had to get back into the limo and leave Spencer behind.

"I don't want to leave you."

The soft admission pulled at Spencer's heart. She shared the sentiment completely.

"I know, but it's just for a night. I'll see you tomorrow for the final dress fittings and the dress rehearsal dinner."

Ashley kissed her again and finally stepped away.

"Okay, sweet dreams and they better all be of me."

Spencer just smiled as she watched Ashley leave. She stood a good long while just staring off into the distance where the limo had disappeared too. She was happier than she remembered being in a long time, the kind of happy that only Ashley had ever made her feel.

With the smile still on her face she entered the dark house. She was scared out of her skin when Aiden spoke unexpectedly in the dark.

"You're back late."

Spencer strained her eyes to spot Aiden. When she did she settled next to him on the couch, still in the dark.

"The party was good, so we stayed late. Besides, we couldn't get Kyla away from the strippers."

He chuckled at that.

"Yeah, that sounds like Kyla. We had the same problem with Glen and strangely enough your dad. We made the mistake of getting him a lap dance and the rest as they say, is history."

Spencer cringed at the idea of her dad with a stripper.

"Oh god, I didn't need to know that. Lucky for me my mom stayed at home and baby sat Clay, I can't imagine her watching a stripper show."

Aiden agreed with a nod.

"Yeah, I think she would have had a stroke or something." He was quiet for a few minutes as he stared at her in the dark. "You really do look happy now that Ash is back."

Spencer smiled at simply the mention of Ashley's name.

"Yes, I am."

She watched in the dim light from the window as Aiden got lost in his thoughts. She guessed it was just the night for it.

"I was jealous of the two of you back then. I think that's partly why I made my little love confession at prom. I so badly wanted to have that with someone, that closeness and I just ended up convincing myself that that person was Ashley. I quickly realized my mistake and it hurt if I'm honest. I lost my best friend because of my stupidity. So I ended up alone. Maybe not finding someone who loves me is my punishment for breaking up two of the most obviously in love people I knew."

He sounded so sad, sitting there in the dark with longing in his voice. Spencer did not think twice about taking his big hand in her own and squeezing it.

"You'll meet your person, Aiden. The one that will make you feel all the things that Ashley makes me feel."

Aiden visibly shook himself out of his mood.

"I know. You and Ashley finding each other again after all this time has given me hope again. I think lately I stopped believing in love, but the way life has brought you two back together again proved to me it does exist. There really is someone out there that you're meant to be with, no matter what gets in the way, eventually you'll find that person. I just hope I don't have to wait seven years for my person."

Spencer realized again why she loved Aiden. Underneath everything he was a good man. He may have made mistakes in the past, mistakes that had brought _her_ hurt, but he was a better man for learning from them.

"Even if you do have to wait that long, it will be worth it, I promise. And Aiden, I really do forgive you for the whole Prom debacle. We were all just kids back then and we all made mistakes. It wasn't just you and Ashley."

Aiden stood up and gave her a faint smile.

"Thanks Spencer. For forgiving me and for reassuring me tonight. Just don't expect me to remember much of this conversation in the morning. I'm really pretty drunk, seeing as we all know a strong, manly guy like me wouldn't be getting all emotional like this if I were sober."

Spencer knew full well that Aiden was far from drunk.

"Of course. Everyone gets a little overly emotional when they're drunk. I won't hold it against you."

He smiled as he left and headed off to his room, leaving Spencer to sit quietly on the couch. They had all come so far from the people they were in high school. Aiden well on his way to becoming a doctor, Madison happy with who she was without having to put someone else down to achieve that feeling. Even Glen had matured to a degree, settling down with Kyla and taking responsibility for little Clay when he needed a man's guiding hand. Spencer was just glad in that moment that growing up had not included growing out of her feelings for Ashley Davies. If anything, it had made those feelings stronger.

So now only two chapters and an epilogue left I think. I really hope you liked it seeing as I would be freakin disappointed if I screwed it all up in the last dash to the finish line, so to speak. So if you've got criticism, lay it on me! If you want to give me love, even better! (Just so you know, I prefer the love giving!:)


	11. world peace is never gonna happen

So please don't throw bricks at me for taking this long to update! I'm really sorry! Please don't hurt me!

This chapter is dedicated to all of those that took the time to leave a review on the last chapter. So if this sucks, please don't take offense. **I LOVE YOU ALL! **Hopefully it's good and makes your hearts happy, 'cause that was my intention.

Okay, I don't own it. I never will. No one but Tom Lynch will ever own it and I'm sure we're all sad about that, because if some of us owned it? Well, the things we could do with it! Get your minds out of the gutters! Dirty, dirty readers.

On with the show...

The wedding

Chapter 11

Ashley woke up the morning after the bachelorette party happier than she could ever remember being. She had made the decision to move back and it felt like a weight off her shoulders. She had wanted to do it so many times in the last few years, but hearing Spencer say she actually _wanted_ her to do it made it possible. She was going to be part of a family again. She would be near Kyla and if she had her way she'd be living with Spencer. They had not exactly discussed living arrangements, but that she could tackle later. Now she was just basking in all of it.

She found Kyla in the kitchen, sleepily making herself a cup of coffee, while Glen sat at the table with a pack of frozen peas against his forehead. They both looked like death warmed up.

"So, I'm going to take a wild guess here and say you guys are a bit hungover."

Glen groaned at her load voice and Kyla just closed her eyes tightly.

"You could say that. You want some coffee?"

Ashley took Kyla by the shoulders and shoved her into one of the kitchen chairs nearby.

"Sit and I'll finish the coffee. I want to talk to you guys about something."

Neither one even acknowledged her statement, so she just went on.

"I'm moving back to LA to be with Spencer...and you of course."

She added the last bit quickly, because even though Spencer was the main reason, she wanted Kyla to know she factored into the decision as well.

What she had not expected was Glen to shove back his chair and glare at her.

"You're telling me my sister was stupid enough to take you back?! Jesus, I thought she was smarter than that!"

Ashley was immediately pissed off. Sure she and Glen had never gotten along well, but she thought they were passed that now. He was marrying her sister for God's sake!

"Hey, don't call Spencer stupid and it's none of your damn business if we choose to be together again. I wasn't asking for your permission here ass, I was simply informing you of how things were going to play out from here!"

Glen smashed the frozen peas onto the table and everyone flinched at the sound of it.

"Look, I'm not gonna stand here and let you hurt my sister again like you did when you whored yourself to Aiden. She deserves better than the likes of you! People like you don't change, Ashley. You put up this nice, rehabilitated front, but you'll always be a freaking drunk who was too stupid and selfish to love my sister the right way. I know all about how you went on in London. It's a God damn miracle you aren't diseased with the amount of people you've slept with and the drugs you pumped into your body. I saw what that did to Kyla, how she cried after phone calls with you. I know you almost went and killed yourself without ever thinking how it would affect the few, or rather, one person that still gave a damn about you! Do you honestly think I'm gonna be happy to hear that you're going to be around the two people I love most in the world permanently?"

Glen was red faced and obviously angry beyond belief. Ashley was just standing there looking like she wanted to crawl into a corner and cry. She had not thought for one moment that Glen was going to welcome her with open arms, but that reaction was not expected. Old self hate flowed over her in waves in that moment.

"Stop it! Just stop it! You don't ever get to talk to her like that again, Glen. As much as I love you, I won't stand here and let you talk to her like that."

Ashley watched with a stricken look as Kyla glared at Glen. She had known she had hurt Kyla with her behavior, but it had never sunk in just how much. Guilt washed through her and she felt her chest tighten, felt as old memories of strangers hands on her body and popping tablets and guzzling Jack Daniels invaded her mind. She felt that old disgust at herself settle firmly into her bones and felt like crying again. She watched with a growing sense of panic as Glen angrily yelled at Kyla.

"Well I won't stand here and let her breeze back into our lives as if she belongs, as if she deserves too. She hurt you, she hurt Spencer and that's not acceptable to me. I'm sorry that I'm not as forgiving as you and I get she's your sister, but I had to live with the fallout of _her_ mistakes. I had to watch first Spencer than you cry yourselves to sleep and walk around with that constant sadness. I won't let it happen again, I simply won't!"

Kyla was about to reply when Ashley finally just snapped. She knew deep down this was the time to try and explain things calmly to Glen, to make it right with him and Kyla both, but she just couldn't. Not while she was fighting old demons she thought she had lain to rest. So without another word she walked out the kitchen and then the front door.

Spencer watched with amusement as Madison sat on the chair opposite her. They were waiting for Kyla to show up at the boutique where the final fitting was to be held. She was already a few minutes late, but if she looked and felt anything like Madison than Spencer would forgive her for it. The normally vivacious Latina was sitting slumped on her chair with her sunglasses firmly in place. She'd been main lining coffee the whole morning and even though she was on her fourth cup, she still looked half dead.

"So you went home with a stripper. That's knew."

Spencer tried hard to keep the amusement from her voice, but it was hard. Madison really looked bad, but in that funny as hell kind of way.

"Hm...yeah, Mitch was nice. Or was it Matt...Mick maybe? I didn't really catch his name this morning, but I have his number. I think I may actually give him a call later."

Spencer just raised her eyebrows at this. Madison did not really do one night stands surprisingly enough, but Spencer thought the stripper was just that. A one night stand.

"Really? You're thinking of actually like...dating a stripper."

Spencer did not want to sound judgmental, because she honestly wasn't, she realized that it did not mean he was like a prostitute or anything. He was just dancing for a living. With very little to no clothes on.

"Well, I mean we could go for coffee. That's not really dating, that's just coffee. Coffee's a friendly drink enjoyed by friends. Nothing serious."

Spencer nodded her head smiling.

"So you want to be friends with this guy?"

Madison gave a small sigh.

"Fine, he rocked my world last night and I want to see him again. It's not a crime to like someone."

Spencer nodded her head and gave another smile. Madison deserved a little happiness and if it came in the form of a hot stripper? Why the hell not. She could not wait to tell Ashley though, she would get a kick out of it.

"No, not a crime at all. Especially if he's like a dead ringer for that guy from Grey's Anatomy."

Madison cocked her head and her eyebrows peaked over her sunglasses.

"Which guy from Grey's Anatomy?"

Spencer only really watched the show for her secret tv crush. Dr Izzie Stevens was almost the hottest person alive in her opinion. Right behind Ashley who happened to be the number one hottest of course. She thought for a moment.

"Um...McSteamy. The plastic surgeon guy."

Madison gave a slow smile as she seemed to realize that the stripper named either Mitch or Matt or Mick really was a carbon copy of the actor.

"_Soooo_ calling him for coffee later."

Before Spencer could tease her about it Kyla came through the door. She looked pale and drawn with angry and worried thrown in for good measure. She stalked towards them and almost bit the sales ladies' head off. Madison and Spencer exchanged a quick glance before standing up and joining Kyla. Spencer then only noticed the lack of one Ashley Davies.

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late."

Spencer gave her an unsure smile and quickly glanced at Madison again who only gave a small shrug of her shoulders. She was in the dark here too.

"Hey, Kyla. How are you feeling after last night?"

Spencer kept her voice soft and gentle in an attempt to not aggravate the woman further.

"As well as expected I guess."

Her voice was distracted, like she was thinking about something else and honestly she was. Her mind was on Ashley and the moron she might end up dumping before the wedding.

"So, where's Ash? I mean, she needs to be at the fitting too, right?"

For a second Spencer saw a little panic edge into Kyla's eyes, but before she could really worry about it the door opened and Ashley walked in. Her shoulders were pulled into a straight, strained line and she had her sunglasses firmly in place. Spencer knew for a fact Ashley had not had a drop of alcohol, so she wondered what she was hiding with those glasses. Her whole demeanor had changed from the happy young woman from last night.

She watched as Ashley and Kyla looked at each other, getting the feeling they were having a silent conversation. Slowly Ashley walked over and pushed her sunglasses onto the top of her head. Spencer saw the unmistakable sadness in them and felt like pulling her in and hugging her.

Before she could attempt just that Ashley leaned over and kissed her firmly on the mouth.

"Morning, Love."

Spencer felt relieved when she saw the sadness creep slowly out of the chocolaty brown eyes she so loved.

"Hey there."

They smiled at each other for another second or two before Ashley turned back to Kyla and gave her a soft, apologetic smile.

"So are we doing this or what? I'm kinda looking forward to seeing Spence here get undressed, you know?"

Spencer blushed on cue and slapped Ashley's arm. Secretly she was thinking the same thing about Ashley though.

She watched as Kyla stared at Ashley again before sighing loudly.

"I'm not even sure I want to marry the moron anymore. He had no right to say that to you, Ash."

Spencer snapped her head back to Ashley as she felt anger rush through her body.

"What did that ass of a brother do now? Did he say something to you? Do I need to go and yell at him?"

She was dead serious about the yelling and she felt sure she might do some head slapping as well when a dark look passed over Ashley's face.

"Don't worry about it. He just said some things that I probably deserved to hear." She looked away and sighed softly. "He was completely justified and put some things in prospective for me really."

Kyla snorted and rolled her eyes.

"_Glen_ put some things in prospective for you? He was being an angry ass and he'll cool off if he knows what's good for him. Don't let it bother you, don't let it somehow make what you've achieved over the last few years seem anything less than extraordinary. Don't let him be a reason for you to run away again."

Spencer narrowed her eyes as she realized that whatever Glen had said had been bad. Bad enough for Kyla to be worried that Ashley would skip out on her and bad enough for Ashley to seem to want to. She was going to have to kick his ass for this.

"Kyla, I'm not running away again. I'm sorry I stormed out of there this morning without talking to you about it, but I just...I just needed a little time. He said some stuff that made me realize I'm never going to be completely free form the things I've done and that's okay. I've never wanted to brush it under the carpet or anything, but I guess I wasn't ready to have it shoved in my face like that. Just don't let it affect the wedding, okay?"

Kyla sighed and pulled Ashley into a firm hug. For a while there she had actually thought Ashley might just take off. She felt guilty for thinking that, but she was only human.

"Okay, I'm really happy the two of you are all hugs and kisses, but I still don't know what my soon to be dead brother said."

Spencer was steaming with anger and scowling like the devil himself. Ashley wondered how she could ever have forgotten how forceful that glare could be when Spencer was pissed off.

She turned away from Kyla and smiled sweetly at Spencer before securing her in her arms. She did not want her rushing off and committing homicide, prison orange would not work with Spencer's complexion well.

"Oh, you know, same old, same old. Stay away from my sister you drunken whore. I won't have you hurt her, blah, blah, blah! Nothing he hasn't screamed at me before."

Ashley had mimicked Glen's tone of voice so well, Spencer ended up laughing. Sure she was angry, but she couldn't keep it up when Ashley so successfully slammed her brother.

"Well, you're _my_ recoveringdrunk whore now, she he can go bite himself in the ass for all I care."

Without waiting for a reply she laid a kiss on Ashley's now smiling lips. When she pulled away she smiled wickedly.

"Now let's go get you out of these clothes." She broke her rather heated gaze from Ashley's and stared at the other two before sighing dejectedly. "And get you into the bridesmaid's dress."

The final fitting went well and Spencer was pleased at how good they all looked. They'd all ooh'd and aah'd at Kyla in the wedding dress and Spencer actually teared up a bit. Ashley proceeded to make fun of her then and called her a softy. This led to Spencer making the 'no kissing for the rest of the day' rule and Ashley sulking. The rule lasted all of twelve minutes before Spencer caved. Ashley had known she would.

It was still with some trepidation that Ashley walked into the restaurant where they had booked a private room for the rehearsal dinner. She was not looking forward to another confrontation with Glen even after Kyla assured her she would have a good long talk with him. Madison's reassuring "I'll kick him in the nuts for you!" helped a bit though.

She took a deep breath and smiled as she felt Spencer's hand slip into her own and squeeze gently. Lips grazed her cheek softly before moving to her ear.

"Don't worry about Glen, or my mother for that matter. I forgot to tell you we had a good long talk the other night. She's okay with things in her own way and I think she's going to really try to let us just be us. So relax."

This was followed by another soft kiss on the cheek and then she was unceremoniously dragged to the private room. Most everyone was already there, Madison and Aiden, as well as the other two groomsmen that Ashley had not yet met and the whole Carlin family.

Before Ashley could get out so much as a 'Hello', little Clay came flying towards her and Spencer. The little boy was dressed rather adorably in dark slacks, a blue shirt and a gray tie. He was the picture of a miniature gentleman.

Before he actually crashed into them, he stopped and gave them a sweet smile.

"Hello Spencer, Ashley." He acknowledged each of them with a head nod as he spoke their names. "You both look very pretty tonight." He gazed up into Ashley's face and smiled dreamily. "Really, really pretty."

Spencer smiled at the little boys obvious infatuation and leaned down to kiss his cheek. When she straightened up, Ashley leaned down to fix the young boys tie.

"And you look very handsome tonight, little guy. Learn anything cool about dolphins lately?"

So they ended up sitting at the table with little Clay between them, telling them about how dolphins sleep. It had something to do with shutting down one half of their brain and switching later. Ashley laughed and said that dolphins were pretty smart to be able to do that. Spencer had to agree with that one.

Ashley had finally relaxed in the company of Spencer and Clay, enjoying the young boys excitement and Spencer's soft chuckle. They spoke animatedly about dolphins and later switched to the subject of Sponge Bob Square Pants. After a while Ashley became aware of Glen glaring at her. It was obvious he did not like her speaking to Clay and the fact that little Clay seemed to be enjoying the conversation was not helping.

He almost slammed down his glass of water when he caught Spencer and Ashley smiling sweetly at each other over the top of Clay's head.

"So, Spencer, I hear Ashley here is moving back to the good old Us of A and that you're the main reason. Guess she has a taste for American again." He's eyes flicked over to Ashley. "Or did you already go through the female British population? I mean it's really just an island, right, it's not that big. Seven years is enough to do that with your apatite."

Silence followed his statement for a few seconds. Ashley looked down at little Clay and was glad he was too young to have a cooking clue what Glen was talking about. She looked up then and saw that Spencer was about five seconds away from leaping across the table and strangling her brother.

Then Paula Carlin's voice echoed clearly into the room.

"Glen, if you so much as open your mouth again with the intention of hurting either your sister or Ashley, I'll feel obliged to point out that it's really none of your business. Your sister is a grown woman that is fully capable of making her own decisions about who she loves. As for Ashley? Have you actually spent any time with her in the last seven years? What do you know about her life today that isn't based on things that happened a long time ago. Are you the same boy today that you were back then?"

She waited patiently for him to slowly shake his head in the negative.

"Then who are you to say Ashley is the same confused girl?"

Glen shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable. His mother was the one person who he had thought would support him on this one. He felt indignation bubble up inside.

"A few days ago _you_ were saying exactly the same thing!"

Paula nodded her head and took the blow with surprising grace.

"Yes, I know, but then I spoke to your sister. Have you noticed that she's happier than she's been in a long time, Glen?"

Glen glared at his mother as he glanced a look at Spencer where she sat watching her mother with something close to wonder. The look was mirrored on Ashley's face.

"What does that have to do with the fact that Ashley is still Ashley?"

Paula spared the two young woman a glance and almost laughed at the incredulous look plastered on Ashley's face.

"The point is she's changed. Your sister assured me of this and I believe her. She would not have let her back into her life if she was the same old Ashley." She let her eyes bore into his for another second before looking away. "Would you pass me the potatoes, Ashley?"

That clearly ended the discussion and Glen sat eating his food in quiet contemplation for the rest of the evening. It was clear he was far from convinced, but he had wisely decided to let the matter go. He still glanced at them during the meal and by the end of it he looked strangely accepting of the situation.

Ashley for her part was stunned. Paula Carlin had stepped up and defended her. She had honestly never thought she would see the day, but it had happened. To her further surprise Paula asked after her plans and how the move would affect her career, showing a genuine interest in everything she said. All in all, it was a good night despite everything else that had happened.

So it was that as the evening finally wound down, she was left leaning against Spencer's car with a goofy smile on her face.

"She smiled at me, Spencer. When your parents drove past she smiled at _me_, Ashley Davies, she who corrupted her sweet little girl and turned her into a dirty lesbian. Paula Carlin smiled at me!"

Spencer leaned in and kissed her despite the fact that Ashley was still smiling goofily.

"Is this where you confess your secret crush on my mother and dump me? 'Cause you sound like a love sick puppy with the whole 'she smiled at me' thing."

Ashley hugged her close and buried her head in soft, blond tresses.

"Hell no! You're all I want, Spencer. You're all I've ever wanted. I don't know if you've noticed this, but I'm in love with you. Blindly, stupidly, permanently in love with you." She was quiet for a moment. "But if we're being honest here? You're moms a total MILF."

Ashley was pretty sure her arm would bruise where Spencer smacked her, but it was worth it for the look on her face.

And that's the update for today. So I hope you liked it and would love it if you took the time to leave a review. Reviews let's me know that you still like it and want more. Reviews can also tell me I've made a mistake somewhere that needs to be rectified. So don't be shy and leave some feedback.


	12. waking up to the rest of your life

Well here it is. The end, my last chapter of this story. I'm kind of wanting to cry a bit. I'm not sure why, it's stupid really. I'm not even all that happy with this last chapter , but I did it, you know? I finished my first story. Ugh, I sound like a loser, sorry. Enough of me being a soppy idiot.

**I would like to thank each and every one of you that took the time to comment on this story. I don't think you realize how much that encouraged me to continue with it and without you I doubt I would have reached the final chapter. **

**To the 35 people that listed this story as one of their favorites, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I feel honored that you liked it so much.**

**To the 800 odd people that read this story, I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it.**

So no, I don't own it, I only really own this story. I hope that's enough for you, because it kinda has to be enough for me. Doesn't mean it is, but I got used to the disappointment. Ah well, that's life, right?

And now, the end is near...

The Wedding

Chapter 12

The morning of the wedding found Ashley and Spencer asleep on Kyla's bedroom floor. Above them on the bed Madison and Kyla snored away lightly as the breeze blew lazily in through an open window. After the rehearsal dinner Kyla had kicked Glen out of the house saying it was tradition that they only see each other at the church. He left pretty much grumbling and moaning as he phoned his parents to inform them he would be staying the night there.

The plan was that everyone would leave together to have hair and make up done and then come back to get dressed. The wedding was only starting at three o'clock in the afternoon and they would have time to have a late breakfast before leaving to have everything done.

Ashley was the first to shift, consciousness slowly pushing the tendrils of sleep away. She buried her face into the shoulder she had been sleeping on and tightened her grip around Spencer's waist. Ashley was not much of a morning person and whenever she had the supreme luck of waking up next to Spencer, she tended to prolong the process of waking fully. There was always a safety in Spencer's arms that she could never find anywhere else and this morning was no different. She inhaled the always familiar sent of the slumbering young woman next to her and gave a sleepy smile.

They had not intended to fall asleep on the floor, but the night had run very late with conversation and movies and soppy love songs being played. Spencer had built them a bed of pillows and blankets around one in the morning, right next to the bed where Kyla and Madison where still chatting about how much it was going to suck for Kyla to have to sleep with only one person for the rest of her life. Needless to say the riveting conversation sent Spencer to dream land not long afterwards and Ashley knocked out an hour later.

Now Ashley lay and watched as Spencer's chest rose and fell with her even breathing, feeling as though all was well with the world in that moment. She smiled as Spencer gave a small sigh and wrapped her arm even tighter around Ashley's shoulder.

"You awake?"

Spencer gave another happy sigh.

"Uh uh, I think I'm still dreaming."

Ashley smiled at the raspy quality that slipped into Spencer's voice when she just woke up. It was both cute and sexy at the same time and Ashley had missed it greatly. She gently pushed herself up onto her elbow and looked down onto Spencer's sleepily smiling face.

"How's that?"

Spencer opened her bright blue eyes and slipped her hand around the base of Ashley's neck, a thumb lazily trailing up and down the graceful column.

"Well, you're here holding me. That usually constitutes me being in a dream state. At least that's how it's been for the last seven years."

Ashley gave about a seconds thought to the fact that neither one of them had yet brushed their teeth, but ended up giving an internal shrug. Morning breath be damned, that little confession deserved a kiss!

She leaned down and pressed her lips gently against Spencer's smiling lips, then her closed eyelids and finally her left temple. She made her way to the sensitive shell of Spencer's ear and kept her voice low as she spoke.

"You don't ever have to dream about it again, Spence. This here is going to be your reality for the rest of your life. I don't plan on waking many more mornings without you, you know?"

Ashley knew Spencer had just basically melted. She knew, because the hand around her neck was joined by one around her waist and she was pulled down tight against Spencer, because a soft sigh landed against her cheek and mostly because when Spencer spoke it was barely a soft whisper in Ashley's ear.

"I love you. I love you _so_ much."

Spencer's voice broke a little on the last word and she buried her face against the skin of Ashley's neck, not really crying, but overwhelmed by emotion enough to be seconds away from it. She was simply so happy in that moment, in the realization that Ashley was back in her life and was planning on staying for good. If asked she would not be able to aptly describe the relief that flooded her body, the feeling of joy and love that washed through her now that she finally knew this was her reality. The last seven days or so had somehow still felt like a dream to her, it had happened so suddenly after all and a part of her had still doubted. Doubted that after seven years they could so easily find their way back together, that being together still came as naturally to them as breathing did. That against all logic and reason she knew this was not some fluke, these feelings would not fade over time. They were solid and always would be.

Ashley for her part was still savoring those softly spoken words. All that she's ever wanted out of this world where those three simple words spoken from Spencer's mouth with nothing but conviction behind them. For seven very long years she had been convinced that she had destroyed any chance of hearing them again, but now it would seem that the universe in general was kinder than she had ever imagined.

"Say that again, please?"

She was surprised to hear the urgency in her own voice, the need so blatantly obvious.

"_I love you_."

She felt Spencer's every word hit her in the chest and it stole her breath, leaving her breathless and aching. She wondered briefly if she was having a heart attack and thought that would be pretty ironic. She felt finally complete and now her heart threatened to burst in her chest. Maybe the universe was not so kind after all.

"I love you too."

She felt Spencer nod against her neck before pulling up and smiling that smile that had stolen her heart years ago.

"I know."

It was with utter regret that they finally untangled themselves as they became aware of rustling sheets on the bed next to them. Ashley sat up and started to snicker softly. She turned and motioned to Spencer to take a look.

When Spencer saw the two still semi asleep women she tried not to laugh out loud. Madison had rolled over during the night and was currently smothering Kyla's smaller frame beneath her. The fact that she was also drooling slightly while Kyla snored like a beer bellied truck driver was just the cherry on top. She wondered how Kyla was still breathing under all that weight and how Madison was not woken by the horror-movie-sound-effect coming from Kyla's throat.

"She got the snoring from the other side of the gene pool, right?"

Ashley cocked her right eyebrow as she turned to face Spencer.

"Why, would you love me any less if I started doing..._that_?"

She pointed to Kyla as she heard another loud snore escape her sister.

"No, but I'd definitely kick you out of the bedroom once I've had my way with you."

Before Ashley could tackle Spencer to the ground and punish her with tickles, Kyla's cellphone loudly started blaring The Dixie Cups 'Chapel of Love'.

They watched with amusement as Kyla opened bleary eyes and grabbed for the phone on her nightstand.

"Hello?...Ugh, hold on a sec...Madison, get the hell off, God!"

Madison popped her eyes open and simultaneously rolled off of Kyla. A second later a hand flew to wipe away the drool.

"Have a good sleep there, Madison? See Spence, even the straight Davies sister is a chick magnet."

Spencer and Ashley laughed as Madison gave them the finger. Kyla was cooing into the phone so Ashley took a wild guess and decided it must be her almost brother-in-law.

"Well I need to go brush my teeth, Madison needs to go wash all the drool off her chin and Spence here...well she's just perfect, so she can come keep me company."

Kyla gave her a grateful smile as they all strolled out and gave her some privacy.

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After their bathroom stop the three of them headed down to the kitchen where Spencer volunteered to make pancakes for breakfast. Ashley and Madison both gave less than enthusiastic offers to help, but Spencer just told them to sit quietly and not touch anything, seeing as in both Ashley and Madison's case, that could lead to a burnt down kitchen.

A few minutes later Kyla strolled into the kitchen also still wearing her pajamas and sporting a huge smile.

"I'm getting married today!"

Madison nodded her head solemnly as she stared at Kyla.

"I know and you have my condolences."

Ashley gave a snort of laughter and then pulled her sister into a quick hug.

"I'm glad you're so happy, Kyla."

Kyla smiled some more and practically floated towards Spencer and peered over her shoulder.

"Ooooh, pancakes! Yay! I'll get the coffee ready."

Madison perked up at the word coffee and gave her first half smile of the day. They were all settled comfortably around the kitchen table when the doorbell rang and Ashley offered to answer it.

When she opened the door Paula Carlin stood smiling on the doorstep.

"Uh...Hi Mrs Carlin, please come in."

Ashley kept her voice neutral. Even though she had been thrilled the previous night at Paula's apparent change of attitude, she was not about to let her guard down around the woman. Yes, she had changed a lot in seven years, but the woman had hurt her, both physically and emotionally, and she was not about to let her do it again. She opened up to the people she knew deserved her honesty, not everyone in general. Still, it did not hurt to be polite to your girlfriends mother she supposed.

Paula gave a small smile and followed Ashley to the kitchen where a scary amount of pancakes were being massacred by three hungry young women. Spencer looked up at her mother with her mouth so full of pancakes she resembled a chipmunk with her bulging cheeks.

"Really, Spencer, you're going to choke if you continue to force so much food into your mouth."

Ashley was surprised that Paula's tone was rather joking than truly reproaching.

Spencer made an unintelligible noise or four before Ashley held a hand up.

"Hey, stop. I don't want you to really choke. I kinda like having you around."

Spencer smiled as much as was possible with a mouthful of food and tilted her head to the side, knowing Ashley was a sucker for it every time.

Ashley rolled her eyes and shook her head smilingly.

"You big goofball."

She turned away and watched as Paula pulled out a chair across from Ashley's own and sat down.

"So I've come to offer my services to you ladies for the day. Arthur, Aiden and Glen kicked me out of the house this morning."

Ashley wondered if it was at all possible for _anyone_ to forcefully kick Paula Carlin out of her own house. Out of anywhere she wanted to be for that matter.

"Sure, Paula. Well, I better start calling you Mom from today I guess."

Paula seemed very pleased with that and nodded her head.

"Indeed. After today you're family." She glanced up and towards Ashley. "You're all family then, really"

Ashley's eyes almost popped out of her head and she quickly glanced over at Spencer to see if she heard it too. Spencer just sat there with a rather satisfied grin on her face. Ashley realized then that maybe, just maybe, Paula Carlin had really accepted the fact that Ashley was sticking around, whether she liked it or not. For the first time in their history of knowing each other, Ashley Davies gave Paula Carlin an honest to God, tentatively friendly smile. Paula returned it whole heartedly.

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By the time the wedding march started playing Ashley, already at her place by the alter, was near tears. She could not quite explain why she was seconds away from bawling her eyes out, but she was not going to worry about it. One look at Kyla in her magnificent white gown and she was lost. A silent tear made its way across her cheek and she thanked God for waterproof mascara. She felt a hand gently push a soft tissue into her hand and give it a soft squeeze. She loved Spencer more in that moment then ever before.

By the time Kyla neared them, Ashley could see her eyes were brimming with tears as well, but her smile was so bright it was impossible to mistake them for anything other than happy tears. To his credit, even Glen seemed affected by the moment. His face was flush and a soft smile played on his lips as he accepted his bride from his own father. Kyla had asked Arthur Carlin, the only father figure in her life for the last seven years, to give her away. The gentle man had tears in his blue eyes when he squeezed both Glen and Kyla's hands before sitting down next to his wife.

The ceremony started in all earnest then, vows exchanged, followed by rings and then finally lips met. Their first kiss as husband and wife. Ashley was sniffing loudly by that point and would be forever grateful to Spencer and the warm arms that surrounded her. Spencer surprisingly enough was not crying, but she had a happy smile on her face.

"Don't cry, Ash. They're happy and they're going to be happy for a very long time."

Ashley nodded her head and stood holding on to Spencer as the church emptied out to throw rose petals at the bride and groom.

"I know, that's why I'm crying I think. I want the best for her and as much as I hate to say this, I think Glen is going to be just that. The best for her. I'm so freaking happy right now, Spencer, you have no idea."

Spencer just smiled and held her tightly as she wondered how anyone had ever doubted the fact that Ashley Davies had a huge capacity to love greatly. She might be a bitchy drama queen, but she was a bitchy drama queen that loved what was left of her family with a passion. Spencer felt honored in that moment, because she knew that Ashley loved her as well and always would.

"Come on, Ash, let's get you cleaned up and head for the reception. I think they're waiting for us."

Somehow they ended up traveling to the reception with Arthur and Paula. Ashley found herself easily chatting about the ceremony, about her sisters case of nerves that struck exactly twelve minutes before she walked down the aisle and mostly about how happy she looked when she kissed her husband.

Spencer sat next to her on the back seat, thigh against thigh and shoulder to shoulder. Their hands were firmly clasped and their eyes would find each other every few minutes. They looked like a couple of love sick puppies and unbeknown to them, Arthur and even Paula sat watching them with humor in their eyes.

"So Ashley, when are you flying back to London?"

Arthur's question caused the two young women to sigh as one before Ashley answered.

"My flight leaves at nine tomorrow morning."

She gave another long sigh at the reminder that she would be leaving Spencer in a very short while. She lay her head on Spencer's shoulder and held her hand tighter.

Spencer, feeling dread at the prospect herself, lay a kiss against the dark brown hair not caring that her parents could see. When it came to Ashley, she did not think she would ever care again who saw them as what they were, two people very much in love.

"It's just for a week, then you come back to me, Ash."

Ashley looked up and they simply stared at each other for the longest time before Arthur told them they had arrived at the hotel where the reception was being held.

They all walked in together and an hour later they found themselves seated at the main table awaiting dinner to be served. Ashley was nervous, because after dinner they would open the dance floor and as a special gift to Kyla, she was joining the live band and singing Kyla and Glen's favorite song for them. Spencer noticed the nerves creeping up and grabbed the fidgety hand nearest to her.

"You don't have to be nervous about singing, Ash. You have a beautiful voice."

Ashley snorted and looked around at all the guests.

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one that's going to be singing in front of all these people."

Spencer shook her head and gave a gentle smile.

"You're not singing in front of all these people, you're singing in front of your sister and her husband. No one else."

Ashley gave her a slow smile.

"No one else? You're saying I have to try and forget you're in the room? Love, that's never gonna happen."

It was the right thing to say, because seconds later a warm mouth found Ashley's and she really did forget about all the other people in the room, including her poor sister and the new husband.

Soon enough they broke apart to receive their food and everyone ate with the loud murmur of voices surrounding them. Finally the time came for the first song of the evening and without much fanfare, Ashley took to the stage.

"This is for Kyla and Glen."

Then she proceeded to sing Sheryl Crow's 'I shall believe'.

_'Come to me now_

_And lay your hands over me_

_Even if it's a lie_

_Say it will be alright_

_And I shall believe_

_I'm broken in two_

_And I know you're on to me_

_That I only come home_

_When I'm so all alone_

_But I do believe_

_That not everything is gonna be the way _

_You think it ought to be_

_It seems like every time I try to make it right_

_It all comes down on me_

_Please say honestly you wont give up on me_

_And I shall believe_

_And I shall believe_

Ashley's eyes found Spencer's above the heads of the couples slowly swaying on the dance floor and stayed there. She felt her heart constrict almost painfully when Spencer slowly smiled at her.

_'Open the door_

_And show me your face tonight_

_I know it's true_

_No one heals me like you_

_And you hold the key_

_Never again_

_Would I turn away from you_

_I'm so heavy tonight_

_But your love is alright_

_And I do believe_

_That not everything is gonna be the way _

_You think it ought to be_

_It seems like every time I try to make it right_

_It all comes down on me_

_Please say honestly_

_You wont give up on me_

_And I shall believe_

_I shall believe_

_And I shall believe..._

Spencer for her part stood astounded at the beauty of Ashley's voice. She had always known that Ashley's voice was beautiful on the rare occasion that she sang for her, but tonight was different. As the music had flowed through the room and Ashley's voice had reached her, she had literally shuddered. Maybe it was the emotion behind the song, Spencer would never be sure exactly, but Ashley singing that song had moved her. Years later, she knew she would still remember this night, this song and most certainly this women she loved with everything in her.

So lost in thought was Spencer that she did not notice Ashley coming to a standstill in front of her. Only when lips touched her own did she return to the moment.

"I think I ended up singing that for you more than anyone else."

Spencer nodded her head.

"I'm glad."

As if by silent agreement they both took off into the direction of the happy couple on the dance floor.

Ashley gently tapped her finger on Kyla's shoulder.

"Hey, Ky, we just want to say goodbye."

Kyla and Glen both raised their eyebrows.

"You're leaving this early?"

Glen was giving Ashley a look as he said this, his voice laced with distrust.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, Glen. We just want to spend a few hours together before that."

He just stared at her for the longest time before Ashley spoke again.

"Look, Glen, I have to trust you with my sister, how about you trust me with yours for once."

Glen was once again quiet and the atmosphere surrounding the four people was thick with emotion. Then finally he let out a long sigh.

"Just don't hurt her again."

Ashley leaned over and for the second time since her arrival, she surprised Glen with a hug.

"I won't, I promise."

He gave her a tight nod and then turned towards Spencer and gave her a hug. Ashley did the same with Kyla and a few minutes later they found themselves outside. Ashley bribed the limo driver to take her and Spencer back to Kyla's house, knowing the newlyweds would only be leaving in an hour or two for the airport, long after the limo returned to the hotel.

So it was that they found themselves in the dark house, alone. Not a word was spoken as they walked up the stairs to the guest room Ashley was using. In silence Spencer helped Ashley to light the few candles that was scattered about the room until soft light enveloped them.

Finally they faced each other, both smiling gently at the other. It was Spencer that moved first, letting her hand drift up to Ashley's cheek.

"Are you okay?"

Ashley closed her eyes and leaned into the warmth pressed against her cheek.

"More so than ever before in my life. You?"

Spencer gave her hundredth soft smile of the night.

"You could say that, yes."

Without a further word they stepped into each other and kissed. It was long, slow and ever so gentle. This was not a night for blind passion. It was a testament of their love, of their devotion and of their unfailing faith in the other.

So it was that clothes were shed and naked skin touched cool sheets. It was with soft sighs and probing fingertips that they rediscovered long ago conquered places. Breasts and thighs, soft skin over taut muscles, the curve of a back, nothing was left untouched.

It was Ashley that finally hovered over Spencer, her breathing surprisingly deep and even, as she looked into half lidded eyes. Eyes that she would always love, the color deeply burned into her heart.

"I love you."

With that her fingers found Spencer's warmth and they were both lost when Spencer's did the same with her. The sound of gentle thrusts and whispered words were their only companions as they drove each other higher and higher, their hearts as entangled as their bodies in that moment.

When they finally reached the precipice, they fell together, holding tightly onto each other.

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Spencer insisted on waiting with Ashley until her flight was called. The airport was busy as it always was regardless of the time of day. So they sat on chairs just holding hands while they waited, watching people pass them by.

"You never told me how you ended up waking in a hospital."

Ashley glanced at the women next to her and smiled softly. She had secretly hoped this conversation would be delayed until she returned for good.

"I'm surprised you haven't guessed how that came about."

Spencer gave a knowing smile and she drifted her thumb over the soft skin of Ashley's hand.

"I have a pretty good idea, but I want you to tell me."

Ashley looked back in front of her, just watching strangers strolling by again for a while.

"I was angry and confused when I left here. I was disappointed in myself and ashamed and I wanted to forget it all. So I drank, a lot. At first it was just booze, but then I fell into the wrong crowd and things started to spiral out of control completely. I had money to buy whatever was available and I ended up doing just that. Coke, acid, whatever party drug was doing the rounds really. There's gaps in my memory from that time, whole days and weeks that have just disappeared into oblivion. I'd wake up in a random hotel room with some random body over mine and just start all over again. Get high or drunk or both and get fucked. It wasn't pretty and it wasn't healthy. After a year or so I was fucked up beyond belief, my body and mind both exhausted. Then one night I took to much and I over dosed."

Spencer was quiet as she let it all sink in. She guessed that was the shortened version, but she was not going to push for all of it in one day. They had forever to talk about all of it. There was one thing she needed to know though.

"Was it because of the break-up?"

Ashley debated her answer for a very long time.

"Among other things yes. It wasn't really just one thing, Spence. It was my Dad and my Mom and basically everything in my life. I could only see the bad stuff then, never the good stuff, you know? When I woke up in the hospital I realized even if my life was utter shit, I didn't want to die. So I got my act together with some help from Kyla and loads of therapy and stuff. And now here I am, happy as can be."

At that moment Ashley's flight was announced. They both sat motionless for a few more seconds before getting out of their seats. They hugged each other hard, their kiss conveying their regret at being parted. Finally Ashley reluctantly pulled back.

"I love you and remember, it's only seven days then I'm back"

Spencer tilted her head to the side and gave a small smile.

"A lot can happen in seven days."

Ashley knew what she meant. What had separated them for _seven years_ had been fixed in no more than seven days. As far as Ashley was concerned, that was as close to a miracle in her life as she would ever come.

"I know and I thank God for the past seven of them in my life."

Without another word she turned and walked away, knowing that in seven more days she would be walking right back to Spencer. Right back to where she always had and would belong. Back to her heart, her Spencer. Finally and forever.

THE END

I would really love it if you left an honest review for me. As much as I hope that everyone loved it, I'd rather you be honest and tell me if I did something wrong. The only way I can learn and improve is if I know what I'm doing wrong, so please don't be shy. Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

**PS-I totally** l**ove you all!**


	13. the sad and sorry excuse for an epilogue

Okay, this time it really, really is the end. I wasn't planning on an epilogue, but I think a few of you thought I left it a bit too open ended I guess. So to everyone that either hinted or out right asked, here it is. An epilogue. (Of sorts)

It's not mine, the show that is, 'cos the story? Yeah, that was all me;)

The wedding

An epilogue in snippet form?!

Ashley's return...uh...second return that is.

After Ashley spent seven days in London to pack up her life and say goodbye to some friends, she returned to L.A. When the plane finally landed she was a mess. The plane had hit a lot of turbulence so she had been feeling nauseas for half the flight and the food had completely sucked, but most of all she just missed Spencer . Missed her so much her heart hurt and she promised herself she would not spend a day away from her again.

So when she finally spotted sun-kissed blond hair and smiling blue eyes she almost cried. The hug they shared was bone crushing and long.

"God, I've _missed_ you!"

Spencer tightened her hold and kissed the bronzed skin of Ashley's neck before answering.

"Not half as much as _I've_ missed _you_!"

Ashley's competitive side kicked in then and she dragged Spencer to the nearest bathroom she could find. It might not have been the most romantic of spots, but Spencer sure did not mind as Ashley proceeded to show her just how much she really_ had_ missed her. Then Spencer thought it was only fair to return the gesture.

Neither Ashley or Spencer ever looked at an airport bathroom without sporting an idiotically large smile on their faces again.

The same could be said for Earl Hogan, the plummer that had been fiddling around in the bathroom stall two doors down form the one occupied by Spencer and Ashley.

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The first fight.

"Ashley!"

Ashley warily looked up from her laptop and stared at Spencer. It had been years since she heard _that_ angry tone in Spencer's voice directed at her.

"Uh...Yeah?"

Spencer was scowling and waving around a box of Corn Flakes.

"Did you really finish my Corn Flakes and then put the empty box in the cupboard?"

Ashley thought it over for a minute before answering. So what if she got hungry and had the last of Spencer's favorite cereal at two in the morning, she did not see what the big deal was.

"Uh...yeah."

Spencer's left eye started twitching and her lips thinned out dramatically.

"So you put my _empty_ box back in the cupboard, don't feel the need to make sure we buy more or even just inform me so_ I_ could buy more?"

Once again Ashley was not seeing the big deal about it.

"Uh...yeah."

Then the empty box whizzed past her head and knocked over a vase behind her. Ashley gave a scowl of her own now.

"Jesus, Spencer! It was just a box of cereal! I'll freaking buy you a new one, okay? Hell, I'll buy you the freaking company that makes them!"

That was a bad move on Ashley's part as Spencer speedily turned an angry purple.

"Oh my God! You can't just buy yourself out of this one! You can't just fix things with money! I just want you to show me some consideration here!"

"Show you some consideration?! You think I don't...All I freaking do _**is**_ consider you, Spencer! Hell, I barely have a single thought in my head that doesn't involve you. And you think I don't consider you because I ate your cereal and didn't replace it? That's just stupid!"

They spent a good minute just staring at each other, both breathing hard and red faced before Spencer rolled her eyes and grudgingly spoke.

"Okay, fine! That was stupid of me to say. I take it back."

Ashley gave a curt nod.

"Good."

Then they burst out laughing and had some pretty mind blowing make-up sex on the kitchen floor.

Also Ashley always made sure to buy extra boxes of cereal after that.

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When getting married became legal.

They'd been living together for a good two years in Ashley's old house when the news hit. Of course this was not the first time that the legalization of same sex marriages had been discussed by the government and honestly everyone expected it to go as it always did on the matter. The bid for legalization would be denied.

So it was with some surprise that Ashley and Spencer sat on their couch in front of the t.v and listened to some buxom, bottle blond news caster report on the fact that the government had amended the law on the matter of same sex marriages. Amended meaning that it was in fact going to be legal now.

Dazedly Ashley had muted the t.v and turned towards an equally surprised Spencer. They sat staring at each other for seven full seconds in complete silence. Then they both spoke at the same time.

"You wanna get hitched?"

"Will you marry me?"

Both smiled brightly and once again spoke at the same time.

"Oh hell yeah!"

"God yes!"

Seven seconds after that they were well on their way to having newly-engaged-sex on the couch.

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The matter of children.

A year and a half after their wedding on the beach they sat comfortably on their couch once again watching some t.v. Both were sipping some ice cold cranberry juice as it was an unnaturally warm night.

As Ashley was taking a rather big gulp from her glass of juice, Spencer suddenly turned to her with big, hopeful blue eyes.

"Ash, I want a baby."

Ashley abruptly choked on her juice and sprayed most of it through her nose and onto the white carpet. It was a bitch of a stain to remove.

Three weeks of utter silence followed the statement. Not wanting to upset Ashley again, Spencer kept quiet. Ashley for her part was trying to not think about it, because as much as she wanted kids, they had been in her _ten year plan, _not five year plan

So it was with some trepidation in her voice when, while having lunch at a small restaurant and observing a beautiful little blond haired girl smiling happily at her parents, she finally spoke about the matter.

"So, do you wanna adopt or are we doing it the old fashioned way?"

In the end it was decided, after what felt like days and days of discussions on the matter to Ashley, that they would indeed do it the old fashioned way. The kicker was that Ashley came out the winner on the 'who would be giving birth' lottery. The only matter left was to find a sperm donor. After even more debating on the subject a decision was made and they sprang into action.

When Spencer jumped right in and asked Glen to donate his sperm for Ashley's artificial insemination, he proceeded to choke and eventually spit his mouthful of red wine onto the white carpet. That too was a bitch of a stain to remove.

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So to summarize.

They spent a life together filled with more love then anger and between the two of them raised a rather charming daughter called Sophie. Charming meaning that the girl, with her birth mother's crinkled nose smile and brunette hair and her other mother's bluer than blue eyes, was a little angel. Until she turned fifteen and displayed every one of both Glen and Ashley's worse traits. There was arrogance, anger, impulsiveness to the extreme and the severe lack of thinking before doing. Eventually she grew out of it and settled into a woman that strongly reminded of Ashley in looks and Spencer in manner.

All in all, when the time came for first Ashley and then Spencer to bid their final goodbye to the world, they did so knowing they had lived a full and utterly satisfying life and loved greatly and truly only the other. It had been a life spent well.

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Hope that was what you all were looking for and sorry that it was so short, but I only wanted to do those little snippets. Don't ask why, that's just how it wanted to be done! Inspiration leads me, not I inspiration.

Thanks again for the reviews, you all made my heart grow warm and fuzzy and I ended up having caramel choc-chip ice cream to celebrate! Maybe a bit too much 'cos it still hurts a little:) Anyway, I hope to update one or even both of my other stories over the weekend, so don't stone me to death, because I _know_ I take forever to update, but its called work and I can't seem to get away from it, dammit!


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